Things I Said on Twitter in 2014

As I say each year: The year in review, in micro-blog form. This is mostly for my own reference, but, you might be bored enough to look at this as well. Who knows!

Tweets of 2012 • Tweets of 2013

Bouncing back from last year’s dip, 970 total tweets on the year excluding replies. It’s a ridiculous number, nearly 3 tweets each day. Nobody has that much to say!

Good: flat tire on the way to work. Better: it’s snowy. Best: my wheel is frozen onto my vehicle! #2014isRuined

2014-01-02 12:40:18
RT @_chelseybaker: “FUCK PLOWING” -Michigan

2014-01-03 12:16:29
I genuinely enjoy snow and driving in snowy conditions. Last night on M14, however, was terrible, dangerous, and scary. No thanks!

2014-01-03 12:21:42
Oh no..time for panic…we’re looking at a foot of snow over the course of a day or so…it’s not the end of the world, it’s MI folks.

2014-01-03 19:36:56
I decided to start up a Minecraft server again. I’m at the early, early stages at the moment…but http://t.co/MI1vOk28rq

2014-01-04 02:07:24
It’s really easy to judge, and really difficult to empathize. @SamSykesSwears’s take on Gabe’s resolution is spot on http://t.co/o26AwQdR2W

2014-01-04 13:48:49
It is ridiculously pretty out right now. I like snowstorms rather a lot.

2014-01-05 22:50:39
Holy crap, @ATT, I was investigating switching over from @Tmobile, but if your site is an indication of your quality, no thanks! #BadUX

2014-01-06 01:09:08
This is the worst…I’m working from home, so I can’t go play in the snow :(

2014-01-06 14:00:08
RT @loh: Always wanted to travel back in time to try fighting a younger version of yourself? Software development is the career for you!

2014-01-06 14:05:28
Sounds familiar! MT @noahsussman: OH: concentrate on solving our technical problems, people who try to solve our social problems get fired

2014-01-06 15:24:07
Could not agree more! RT @noahsussman: .@jer_ the problems you might get fired for solving are the only problems worth solving!

2014-01-06 15:28:11
re: my earlier posts, this is pretty close to my philosophy: Do the Right Thing, Wait to Get Fired http://t.co/ZfqR8TTh9u (via @noahsussman)

2014-01-06 16:39:28
RT @ndh313: Hiring iOS and Android apprentices for 2014. Bootcamp training, pairing, immersion. Want to build and ship great apps? Tell me.…

2014-01-06 18:59:56
re: Previous post, I know a few people that work there. If I were a mobile dev, there’s no place I’d rather be than Detroit Labs…msg them

2014-01-06 19:03:02
For those looking for a $250 gift to buy me, I sure would like a Pebble Steel! http://t.co/iBaFY86K7e

2014-01-06 19:57:26
For @aglance_ RT @lauramarie222: This is great. I tried Gwyneth’s diet and got a rash on my face via @NYTmag. http://t.co/W0O3tht8sZ

2014-01-07 11:51:46
81in. Nearly 7 feet of snow. This is snowfall. 90min north of where I grew up. Who wants to go on a trip?! http://t.co/3J0c1A6Vgq

2014-01-07 13:24:36
RT @noahsussman: 2 different ways to enable pretty-colored diffs even for files that aren’t in source control #git #syntaxhighlighting http…

2014-01-07 16:25:47
Today is a day for kafta, fatoush, and hummus with fresh, hot bread.

2014-01-07 16:28:08
Ultimate first world problem: I don’t know if my tea is pronounced “tay-zo” or “tahh-zo” #2014isRuined

2014-01-07 17:34:22
If someone gets stuck playing in snow drifts in a Jeep, will AAA make fun of them when they call for a tow? I’m asking for a friend.

2014-01-07 18:39:45
Good news! Despite my best efforts, I did not end up getting stuck in a snow bank…And I was trying super hard!

2014-01-07 23:27:00
Most women in industry that I know have a story like this…often several. http://t.co/MmN8aoSGer

2014-01-10 11:38:14
Awesome….less than 10mph average on M14 west…I sense a later-than-I-like arrival at work… Bleh!

2014-01-10 12:47:01
Holy shit…I’m sitting here cringing as I’m watching some truly terrifying folks considering running a local event. #Trainwreck

2014-01-12 03:36:51
My daughter and I wired the flood lights and spot lights on the Jeep today. Very fun, and 3/4 worked right off! #TroubleshootingTime

2014-01-13 03:09:44
I have an actual stomach ache MT @snipeyhead: Hacker Who Exposed Steubenville Rapists May Get More Time Than Rapists: http://t.co/EqKGLBkF5D

2014-01-13 15:37:14
RT @jefftunes: Future news: Google announce Nest will be retired in 4 days. All devices will cease to work but you can download settings in…

2014-01-13 23:24:34
I just found out that one of my favorite developers is a GoH at @Penguicon this year. Congrats and <3 @eacarlson!

2014-01-16 00:01:32
RT @scalzi: SPEAKING AS A MAN, I have yet to find my freedom of expression curtailed by a harassment policy. And I’m PRETTY expressive, y’a…

2014-01-16 02:18:51
As I gain weight and get older, I look increasingly like John Goodman. I was really hoping to age into ‘Sean Connery’…

2014-01-16 21:17:14
But I already made it to old and cranky!! RT @jamesdotgamble: @jer_ To be fair, John Goodman is boss. Sean Connery is just old and cranky.

2014-01-16 21:21:22
It’s true! RT @robdelaney If I don’t like something, it’s steampunk. Even if it isn’t.

2014-01-17 03:24:22
All the poor people whining about health care costs and not buying consumer goods! RT @GOP Tell us your top issues.
Let’s win big in 2014.

2014-01-17 03:35:18
Oh, also gay marriage (the slippery slope to marrying household appliances) RT @GOP Tell us your top issues.
Let’s win big in 2014.

2014-01-17 03:36:28
Last one: too few rich, evil, white, male sociopaths in government. #TakingItBack RT @GOP Tell us your top issues. Let’s win big in 2014.

2014-01-17 03:38:47
QOTD: “They had nausea and were doing parkour…” –Brenna

2014-01-17 23:31:00
Of the 11 people here at this table, I’m the only one who is not a writer. I feel as though I should call lines of code my genre!

2014-01-18 01:31:55
Sorry @ConFusionMI, but I’m old and apparently have to crash early tonight. I swear I’ll be more fun tomorrow! ZZZZZzzzzzz…..

2014-01-18 03:43:15
Oh, it should be noted that I’m planning out a new piece of foolishness. More will be revealed in due time. #CrypticTweets

2014-01-18 03:46:40
RT @OpportunityDET: Hundreds of tech students from around the US are heading to Detroit tonight for @mhacks, sponsored by @OpportunityDET h…

2014-01-18 03:46:51
Here is hoping that a nap will alleviate this monumental headache. Sleepy time!

2014-01-18 21:39:15
Does anybody at @confusionMI have some ibuprofen for a Jer? I’ll be civil to you for 5 whole minutes! Xoxo

2014-01-19 00:38:48
Ibuprofen achieved (thank you Lana!)

2014-01-19 01:15:18
The upside to being incapacitated for most of yesterday is that I’m feeling pretty wide awake this morning. #SmallVictories

2014-01-19 12:54:57
Hell yeah! http://t.co/0qUkpza99S

2014-01-19 19:48:07
This year’s @ConFusionMI was an unmitigated success. @7heBigBadWolf rocked the house. You all should be proud of the con you put on.

2014-01-20 02:58:36
I’ve been a hermit for the last year or so; it was nice to see friends. I’m coming out of hiding this year, so I’ll see much more of y’all!

2014-01-20 03:01:06
If you’re driving to work this morning, be warned: M14 is actively dangerous. Many cars off the road, very slick, not fun.

2014-01-20 13:50:50
*sigh* Mr. Martyr has started back up the Mr. Penguicon shit again. I’ve never seen anyone more thoroughly manufacture a nemesis before.

2014-01-20 15:44:48
Despite getting plenty of sleep last night, I’m pretty tired today. Not exhausted, just sleepy. #2014isRuined

2014-01-20 18:44:54
RT @noahsussman: .@jessica_nickel fwiw I never think about changing an org. I try to be the best change agent I can be. If I lose too often…

2014-01-21 10:58:41
Really, Woot? Endless pearl necklaces? http://t.co/zSyBjhMUdS

2014-01-21 16:24:05
Bowser is terrified of the acoustic guitar. Like, hide-in-a-crate, won’t-go-near-me-after-I’ve-played scared. My playing isn’t *that* bad!

2014-01-21 23:38:01
RT @SoberBuildEng: @noahsussman @donottestme See also: “What can we do for you to stay?”

“You could’ve been interested in that issue while…

2014-01-22 11:34:05
The previous tweet is why I rarely accept a counter-offer. I’m not shy about expressing issues, if it takes me leaving to get them…(1/2)

2014-01-22 11:37:49
…fixed, then it’s all brinksmanship from here on. You’re better off hiring someone you trust, I’m better off where I’m empowered. (2/2)

2014-01-22 11:40:06
Who has two shaky hands and just narrowly avoided being dead center of what looks like a 6 car pileup on 96? This guy!

2014-01-22 22:43:32
Oh, for those driving home, be careful. 96 and 14 are full of morons tailgating on the luge…

2014-01-22 22:45:39
Sitting at a light, the guy in front of me backs into me then takes off. I have found his vehicle and am now waiting for the police. #Fun

2014-01-23 00:09:54
The dude who hit me is not pleased that I followed him home and called the police. I am, it seems, being a dick!

2014-01-23 00:15:19
“It’s winter, these things happen”…”You back into people at intersections?”…”Sometimes! It’s cold and slippery”

2014-01-23 00:16:33
“[the woman in front of him] backed into me, so I backed into you”…”Dude, that’s the shittiest pay-it-forward ever” #PayItBackward

2014-01-23 00:19:15
“Whatcha doing over there?”…”Live tweeting my traffic accident”…”Make me look good”…”You backed into me then ran”…”Good point”

2014-01-23 00:22:18
Dude’s truck has no rear bumper. “How’d you lose the bumper?”…”I back–I don’t remember, might have been missing when I got it”

2014-01-23 00:25:43
Police arrived. “You really fucking called them?”…”What the fuck do you think I’ve been doing here?”…”I don’t know, but you seemed cool”

2014-01-23 00:31:27
Uh oh. “have you been drinking?”…”What does that matter?” #ItMatters

2014-01-23 00:33:33
“Why did you make him chase you”…”he didn’t have to chase me”…”you left the scene of an accident”…”barely an accident”

2014-01-23 00:35:52
Me: “plus the drinking” Him: “shut the fuck up” Police: “please don’t help sir” #ImNotHelping

2014-01-23 00:37:10
I’ve been asked to wait in my car. As I left: “careful, it’s really slippery out here even if you weren’t drunk”. One of the cops laughed.

2014-01-23 00:38:55
Dude was just put into the back of a squad car…but no cuffs. I’m intrigued.

2014-01-23 00:41:53
I sort of apologize for how spammy this is, but I’ve been bored and this is entertaining to me.

2014-01-23 00:43:30
It should be noted, by the way, that there’s just some bumper gouges. Probably not a big deal. Probably.

2014-01-23 00:45:23
On a scale from 1 to “me in cuffs”, how bad would it be for me to pull up closer so I can see what’s happening?

2014-01-23 00:49:14
Final results: I just filled out a two page police report, dude was definitely drunk and is going to jail, the Jeep appears to be fine.

2014-01-23 01:34:21
Thank you, you were a great audience, good night, tip your waitstaff, try the veal! :) A fun ending to my night!

2014-01-23 01:35:48
Want to see Class privilege in sharp relief: read the comments of a Slashdot article talking about people too poor to get a bank account.

2014-01-23 11:51:03
This is one of my most recent projects… http://t.co/y6cW7gYPfJ Go order mail-order Lobsters!

2014-01-23 15:42:30
True 100% of the time (+/- 50%) RT @RandyTheRandom: So, “It would be funny” is always enough reason, right? Right? Anyone? @jer_ ?

2014-01-23 15:55:04
I’ll have you all know, my drive home was completely uneventful. No accidents, no drunken rear-endings. That is all.

2014-01-24 00:18:43
Lol…my safety record rocks! RT @erikvolson @jer_ It has been *1* day since our last loss of bumper accident. Think Safe!

2014-01-24 01:12:07
RT @todbot: Help Save Nullspace Labs, they’re getting kicked out of their space w/ only 1-month notice http://t.co/zxdS0GdCPA

2014-01-24 15:10:04
A work IM from today…my coworker is not wrong, I am an asshole! http://t.co/pv2nD7V2jg

2014-01-24 18:17:11
How do you pick a winner here? http://t.co/UbxPgCcsWG

2014-01-26 03:38:15
Brilliantly said! MT @JRRParker Just wrote about my feelings on Nerds vs. Jocks.
http://t.co/b6zWiFRdok

2014-01-26 05:15:19
Being ignorant of sports ball is not any more to be proud of than ignorance of another nation’s politics. It’s just not your thing…

2014-01-26 05:18:14
Achievement unlocked: Beat Mass Effect 2. Only 4 years late? Time for Shep Shepard to face the reapers in ME3!

2014-01-27 01:38:14
Hey @ATTCustomerCare, are there outages in the Metro Detroit area? I think my internet is frozen in the tubes…

2014-01-27 13:50:48
Not in love with my @Jeep dealership today. “Can you guarantee that you’ll at least look it when I bring it in this week”…”No” #InWarranty

2014-01-27 16:37:13
Jeep with heat and no blower motor means that -5 F feels downright chilly. I had to wear a spring jacket to work!!

2014-01-28 13:57:13
I’ve made a terrible mistake! RT @bfarrugi: Who keeps casting Ice spells and messing them up? *eyes @jer_ accusingly*

2014-01-28 14:29:35
RT @louisck: My first movie “tomorrow night” (1998) will be up on http://t.co/gHB7zrPbmm for 5 bucks as always tomorrow at noon.

2014-01-28 14:42:04
Last night’s troubleshooting session was a success, and today I was able to drive to work with actual heat in the Jeep.

2014-01-29 13:01:38
RT @eacarlson: “Love is an acknowledgement of the other’s inherently precious nature and an unconditional regard for his or her well-being.…

2014-01-29 15:18:17
While I agree entirely with the previous retweet…I still find it hard not to turn it into a blumpkin joke!

2014-01-29 15:18:53
Buying jer.sexy RIGHT NOW! MT @gricommerce: @IR_Magazine reports the introduction of generic, top-level domains: http://t.co/3hv1qZUKkk

2014-01-30 16:51:34
Oh, 4-month contract gig, how you did ruin me on taxes this year. #2014isRuined #Ouch

2014-01-31 02:25:31
RT @AnnaKendrick47: “5 things you need to know about Lorde’s boyfriend:” Nothing. Nothing, cause she’s 17 and it’s none of our business. #B…

2014-01-31 02:34:53
Did Philip Seymour Hoffman die? That can’t be an actual real thing right?

2014-02-02 21:16:04
I will not flip out on armchair substance abuse counselors..I will not flip out on armchair substance abuse counselors… #IProbablyWill

2014-02-02 21:33:12
Yoshi basically thinks he’s a parrot. http://t.co/uplI7DGRzP

2014-02-02 23:41:18
RT @MarthaPlimpton: Addiction is real. It is a real & vicious disease. It rips beauty from the world. Please, if you suffer, ask for help. …

2014-02-03 03:25:03
The best part of the superbowl coverage from last night was @michaelianblack’s #sportsfacts…I learned so much!!

2014-02-03 16:54:31
How does that even work? RT @MmeSurly: sometimes I think stuff and I just keep it to myself

2014-02-03 16:58:24
If you are actively angry about a multilingual advertisement, you’re aware that you’re letting us all know you’re a racist douche, right?

2014-02-03 17:48:46
True…you could just be a xenophobe! RT @nadams5755: @jer_ … Or a xenophobe at best

2014-02-03 17:50:34
Also true! RT @Asetisis: @jer_ I say good, highlight those assholes in bright neon colors so we can eliminate them from being relevant

2014-02-03 18:00:40
RT @ferretthimself: This is the coolest thing I’ve seen an RPG company do, ever. It’ll make cosplayers SO happy. http://t.co/cMIeBT8OOP

2014-02-03 19:04:57
I don’t know who got me sick, but you will pay for your insolence!

2014-02-04 17:43:17
RT @Max_Fisher: Journalists at Sochi are live-tweeting their hilarious and gross hotel experiences http://t.co/73qhXf80Bv

2014-02-04 22:53:45
The best part of staying home sick is the dread I feel at the prospect of what tomorrow will look like. Today’s work became tomorrow’s mess.

2014-02-05 02:47:48
Ugh, I feel only marginally less shitty than I did yesterday…but I have to go in, there’s no way I can miss another day.

2014-02-05 11:11:58
Hour 1 of my commute has been fun. With me only half way to work, I expect another hour of fun! *sob*

2014-02-05 13:03:19
All in, my commute was just under 2 hours. The roads were largely fine, people are just terrible drivers.

2014-02-05 14:12:36
QOTD: “What, if anything, would change your mind”…”I’m a Christian…no one’s ever going to convince me that [it’s] not true.” –Ken Ham

2014-02-05 23:10:08
QOTD: “What, if anything, would change your mind”…”I would need just one piece of evidence…any of those things would do it.” –Bill Nye

2014-02-05 23:11:21
If you haven’t had a chance to watch it…go watch the Bill Nye/Ken Ham debate. http://t.co/eityCQ4akr Compelling watching…

2014-02-05 23:54:45
Some companies claim to value quality and customer service over profits. This is what it actually looks like: http://t.co/5apP9BhQsw

2014-02-06 13:45:33
Completely uneventful court visit today. Subpoenaed to be a witness against the drunk driver. Sat in court for an hour, then sent home.

2014-02-06 19:48:14
Lego movie time!

2014-02-09 17:41:15
RT @cdaffara: The claim that Android is unforkable is pure !&#*. Amazon, Baidu, CM did it through alt svcs. Just define “Android” properly,…

2014-02-10 12:02:02
RT @kattekrab: Fail early, fail often & fail in public. Otherwise you risk never contributing because you’ll never meet your own high stand…

2014-02-10 13:16:15
I can’t stop listening to ‘Everything is Awesome’ from the Lego Movie and rewatching Veronica Mars in prep for the movie. I’m 14 years old!

2014-02-11 01:24:29
This was postal-mailed to me today. My life becomes ever more surreal. #YML #YayMyLife http://t.co/ZKUqx1l7Yr

2014-02-11 02:03:43
Of course, today’s mail followed Friday’s surreal SMSes… #YML http://t.co/CY2wMT4cD7

2014-02-11 02:06:43
*phew* I was worried it was the gluttony and laziness! RT @UberFacts: Thinking too much can actually make you fat! http://t.co/zZJTFTGDjY

2014-02-11 12:35:09
If you are going to be in Ann Arbor during the day March 28th and are willing to give blood, hit me up; we need people to donate!

2014-02-11 12:55:38
RT @UrsulaV: I feel it’s important we clear this up. http://t.co/bo7o6DFIY7

2014-02-11 17:12:56
If ever I find myself on the side of any two of the three–Trudale, Ellison, and Resnik–in an argument, I’ll assume I’m way wrong.

2014-02-11 23:22:35
I don’t mind the huge chunk of ice that just cracked my windshield as much as the piss spot I’m going to have to clean off my seat #VeryLoud

2014-02-12 21:44:32
5 months later, I finally got around to uploading pics from September’s camping trip with @BaDawnKDonk and @jlawsonb http://t.co/uhmZboDvcf

2014-02-12 23:10:06
Ladies…lose the bras: http://t.co/Zj3IwwlmLF You’re welcome!

2014-02-13 20:13:23
Best drive-thru ever! RT @jamesdotgamble @jer_ The Taco Story… I finally typed it up. http://t.co/Ra3cNq2BGE I

2014-02-14 22:37:42
QotD: “…so you’d know what health concerns to watch for; like sickle cell anemia in blacks”…”or Jewish people and ovens” –@aglance_

2014-02-15 12:16:20
I long for a day when heternormativity ends and there’s no such thing as “coming out”–until then, thanks for being brave @EllenPage!

2014-02-15 12:31:36
RT @nadams5755: sent @jer_ money for the Genital Restoration Funraiser happening today

2014-02-15 19:39:16
The boys got neutered today, they are very morose… http://t.co/aJEchYmMTS

2014-02-18 01:13:32
RT @benwolding: Nagios is red.
Jenkins is blue.
Whoever wrote the test suite, I will find you, and I will kill you.

2014-02-18 05:01:26
Post-neutering dogs were very restless last night. I’m a very light sleeper. Net effect: I am utterly exhausted! #LongDayComing

2014-02-18 14:47:33
I had a nice surprise when I came home! #EverythingIsAwesome http://t.co/kpyXSJHMDu

2014-02-19 00:07:19
An excellent explanation as to why whitespace is so important (and why it’s often thrown away): http://t.co/0J3ly42Jip

2014-02-19 15:00:17
Operation “Flame-thrower Snow-blower” was a letdown…needed way more flame! #2014isRuined http://t.co/eMXVCcf0yO

2014-02-20 02:42:39
The flame thrower worked, it was just very slow–I need way more heat and fire. I wonder if I could attach it to the natural gas line?

2014-02-20 02:47:25
Ugh, I don’t know who got me sick, but I would like to not be now!

2014-02-21 13:52:53
Today’s victories: keeping down water, shower, shave. I’m calling today a win.

2014-02-21 16:16:35
Winter is officially over; the beard is gone, the goatee is back, and I’m wearing shorts until November!

2014-02-21 16:18:56
RT @kirtan: Dropbox just added a mandatory binding arbitration clause to their Terms of Service. Opt out here: https://t.co/lFxRkZ0sLS

2014-02-24 14:33:27
I want to print out @noahsussman’s new Pyramid of Testing and wallpaper the office with it: http://t.co/I538a7Jzak

2014-02-24 15:35:36
Now @TMobile locations can’t take credit cards, just cash or checks? What year is it? Looks like they might be forcing a carrier change…

2014-02-24 22:43:57
Of course, I need a phone right now, and the withdrawal limits for every ATM nearby is less than the price of the phone I’m buying.

2014-02-24 22:45:21
I’m pretty sure that the dude I’m standing behind has smoked all of the weed…judging by the smell; in a small, closed room.

2014-02-24 22:49:06
99 times out of 100, I adore @TMobile service. Today, it has been abysmal. Clearly I haven’t been inside of a store in a while.

2014-02-24 23:13:48
I actually LOLed! MT @7heBigBadWolf Throw a Metro PCS phone in a woven-hemp case away. He’ll go after it like a Creeper in Nublet Town

2014-02-24 23:48:55
Wtf? Random response? MT @TMobileHelp Thanks for the feedback, building penetration is a little tricky but we are already working on it! :)

2014-02-25 00:15:55
I have declared it spring, so today we had grilled steaks and asparagus…amidst a gentle snow. You’re not the boss of me, weather!

2014-02-25 23:41:59
RT @HackerNewsOnion: New Github IDE can tab-complete an entire Rails app

2014-02-27 17:38:12
If you’re a male that works in technology, read this. Read it to the end. http://t.co/BAgrbLvjab CEO Archetypes #7, Joan of Arc

2014-02-27 19:01:24
This is pretty much complete bullshit. http://t.co/plTFOPQaVd

2014-02-28 12:32:32
McDonald’s coffee and my colon have reached an uneasy truce; much grumbling remains, but no violence has “erupted”!

2014-02-28 14:14:32
(I’m talking about diarrhea)

2014-02-28 14:14:52
I sort of slept in…I slept until 8, but I was up quite a bit with loudly aggressive show removal crews. The sidewalks are wicked clear!

2014-03-02 14:45:24
If your primary argument against @wossy at the Hugos was the “he’s not one of us”, you probably shouldn’t be “one of us”…

2014-03-02 15:00:46
If your primary argument against @wossy at the Hugos was “it’s supposed to be my safe space”, you might be just to delicate for the public..

2014-03-02 15:03:04
This, however, is a post about the whole thing. I agree with it pretty much point for point. http://t.co/bHpn7sByPO

2014-03-02 15:08:56
Now that I can again sit on a bike seat without agony, I am planning on participating in #30daysofbiking this April!

2014-03-02 17:18:18
‘Trapped in a Room with a Zombie’ by @roomescapeadven is awesome. If you live near Chicago, you should go! @Dugan @oakparkgirl

2014-03-02 20:17:28
Also, the zombie was kinda hot….who knew that was a fetish?

2014-03-02 20:33:30
RT @mayhemmiller: GRAVITY WINS TONS OF OSCARS. NASA HAS NO FUNDING. GO USA.

2014-03-03 11:41:53
I know a lot of travel genius friends, I’m interested in their view on this… http://t.co/Om3OB7gEq4

2014-03-03 19:57:46
RT @JohnPicacio: Neil Gaiman: “Slightly ashamed of my tribe” re: SF response to @wossy & the #Hugos (via @hayleycampbelly): http://t.co/wbS…

2014-03-04 14:33:58
RT @MichaelSkolnik: If you’re the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room.

2014-03-04 18:48:33
Yesterday, I learned that 2 paczkis are too many…unfortunately, I learned this after eating my fourth paczki. I gave birth last night…

2014-03-05 13:10:35
Does anyone remember who posted the video of me doing the snoopy dance in some con hotel?

2014-03-05 22:21:41
Holy shit, I forgot that video of this existed! RT @GunterRae @jer_ I only have video of you dancing to Just Dance. ;)

2014-03-05 23:10:23
Irony: an author holding someone accountable for things he did not yet say is upset to be held accountable for this she did say.

2014-03-06 03:02:26
RT @AnnaKendrick47: Hey Reddit, I mention Jennifer Lawrence’s boobs in my Vogue Diary. Does this mean I can hang out with you guys? http://…

2014-03-07 09:33:03
Any woman that sent me this would automatically win. http://t.co/kNrGxkEwhq I need to make a male version to send out…

2014-03-07 13:19:17
That’s okay, Jer, you weren’t super busy…you definitely should click ‘restart’ on that OS update!

2014-03-07 13:38:57
Listen, I know this is a ridiculously first world problem, but it is stupid how slowly this gas pump is going.

2014-03-07 19:40:02
This gas pump is absurdly slow #FirstWorldProblems #2014isRuined http://t.co/ToZM6ctzD5

2014-03-07 19:42:03
“Run out for a quick lunch,” I think, “You’ll be back in no time”. “Not so fast”, says the slowest gas pump in America…

2014-03-07 19:57:33
My multi-minute ordeal has come to an end. Thank you all for your support…

2014-03-07 19:58:09
SHARE MY PAIN! :) RT @atdt1991: @jer_ We here in the land of the bored appreciate you instagramming paint drying.

2014-03-07 20:12:40
Kids are so wise! MT @eacarlson “Ms. Erika, you should never say no to money or candy.” -life lessons from my 10yo @kidpreneurco students

2014-03-09 05:18:53
It is time…. http://t.co/HtjPrLi1ez

2014-03-09 15:09:34
Orange hair? Hell yeah! http://t.co/FEaaFghLUI

2014-03-09 15:21:26
RT @aglance_: Bowser doesn’t remember which side is up… http://t.co/VbypaLCHQx

2014-03-10 02:58:00
It is crazy amounts of gorgeous out. I need to get the bikes ready to ride for the spring this week…sooner rather than later!

2014-03-10 21:05:41
New favorite song ever (of the day)…”I Can’t Decide” by The Scissor Sisters “It’s a bitch convincing people to like you…”

2014-03-11 12:13:53
RT @7heBigBadWolf: People that compare their pets to children scare the shit out of me. Personification… #itsathing

2014-03-12 02:35:05
I don’t care if it’s snowing…I’ll even shovel…but I’ve switched to shorts for the season, and there’s no coming back from that!

2014-03-12 12:00:59
I was entertained to see @avantgame in my Netflix this morning! http://t.co/TdhlN6CoaP

2014-03-12 13:00:59
There are few things that make better background noise while working than shitty cable sitcoms! No chance of being distracted there…

2014-03-12 13:28:08
Blasphemy! I never switched away! RT @jamesdotgamble: @jer_ oh please tell me you switched back to sleeveless hoodies too!

2014-03-12 13:31:21
I ran out to grab lunch, and the weather continues to not be the boss of me! http://t.co/T3FH2VZx9Y

2014-03-12 17:22:47
Excellent start to my day…crushing headache, chilly house, furnace refusing to make heat, and tons of work to do. #2014isRuined :)

2014-03-13 11:02:05
Ugh! My headache had abated mildly. No longer throbbing, but definitely preventing the concentration needed to problem-solve. Frustration!

2014-03-13 19:08:45
It’s genius that a high school aged girl wants to sell rational bras for adolescents! Kickstart @YellowberryBras http://t.co/GeSWCP4qjl

2014-03-13 23:05:11
Hey, weather channel, if the current temp is 14 degrees, the low is–at most–14 degrees, not 25. It’s math!

2014-03-14 11:57:15
RT @ramez: Burn. RT @jonahloeb: she’s vaccinated RT @JennyMcCarthy: What is the most important personality trait you look for in a mate? #…

2014-03-15 11:31:00
RT @Phil_Cosby_: In 1845, Blacks had a 100% employment rate. Help US, Help YOU! #WhiteManMarchProtestSigns

2014-03-15 17:42:44
The #WhiteManMarchProtestSigns hashtag has been turned into delicious, delicious satire. <3

2014-03-15 17:46:22
RT @DebbieVee: Insurance Coverage For Viagra And None For Contraception Makes Total Sense, You Sluts. #WhiteManMarchProtestSigns

2014-03-15 17:46:30
RT @TheStephenLynch: I took the liberty of mapping the route for the White Man March tomorrow in New York http://t.co/i8fhoh0Qw6

2014-03-15 17:48:24
RT @cameron_durkin: Equality is making my life slightly less convenient… but it’s still really easy! #WhiteManMarchProtestSigns

2014-03-15 17:49:50
RT @jkfecke: People posting satirical tweets are the real racists. #WhiteManMarchProtestSigns

2014-03-15 17:51:04
RT @StabbinsMcGee: WHY DID YOU CALL ME RACIST WHEN I ASKED WHY YOU PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS HAVING ILLEGITIMATE KIDS ON WELFARE?! #WhiteManMarchPr…

2014-03-15 17:51:54
Last one, I promise! RT @L3w1s_Cl4rk OMG THE WHITES EVEN MADE A RAP SONG FOR TODAY!
http://t.co/q3GvP5TmsF
#WhiteManMarchProtestSigns

2014-03-15 17:56:50
I lied, this is the last one! RT @AlanEggleston “You call me white, but personally, I think I’m flesh colored.” #WhiteManMarchProtestSigns

2014-03-15 17:57:43
Tired puppies (all of us) http://t.co/D8sPv21rcE

2014-03-15 18:22:19
Yesterday was nice and warm. Today is sunny and nice. I threw on shorts and a hoodie and went outside. It is 15 degrees. Well played, MI!

2014-03-16 12:56:56
In preparation for the new Diablo expansion, I’m finally getting around to grinding all of my chars from 50 to 60. #NerdGaming

2014-03-16 15:24:51
Also, if you haven’t played since patch 2.whatever…I’d pop in for a second. Major changes, seemingly all for the better!

2014-03-16 15:25:27
Boom! Purchasing… RT @Asetisis @jer_ here’s a shirt fo you http://t.co/1J0B3hulxw I’m not sure anyone needs one more than you

2014-03-16 16:45:17
I just made my guaranteed-to-lose NCAA predictions. Syracuse – Michigan national championship. Syracuse wins. #WishfulThinking

2014-03-17 12:19:45
Shh! You’re giving away my “strategy” RT @erikvolson: @jer_ Picking teams collapsing at the end of the season?That’s bold!

2014-03-17 12:23:35
Syracuse will beat not one but TWO Michigan teams to win the championship! http://t.co/7n9F1xbnpf

2014-03-17 12:52:45
I am a rigid enforcer my work/life balance. This sort of thing is why… http://t.co/cDg8NlwLaa (thanks for sharing @_chelseybaker)

2014-03-17 15:25:29
It’s been nearly 15 years since my flameout. I’ve watched nearly a dozen more since then. It’s real, it’s sudden, and it’s tragic.

2014-03-17 15:27:39
RT @Penguicon: If you’ve missed out on getting a room at our hotel, use the overflow next door: http://t.co/5Iabs6w4P7

2014-03-17 18:14:38
“‘Can you take your top off so I can auto lay you out’ is not an appropriate ‘softball’ question” –@_chelseybaker reading my mind

2014-03-17 18:44:21
RT @hipsterhacker: People who use Android.

Type 1: Idiots.
Type 2: People who are insufferably anti-Apple and won’t stop telling you abo…

2014-03-17 19:27:48
RT @b0rk: The submissions for @bangbangcon aren’t as diverse as we’d like. Can anyone suggest specific NYC programmers who we should ask to…

2014-03-18 16:50:36
It’s on the calendar, so it’s official: @noahsussman, @ConFigures, and I will speak on dev culture, hiring, and retention at @Penguicon

2014-03-19 00:17:45
Last year’s panel was really well received and really fun to do, I have no doubt “Great Engineers: Gotta Catch
‘Em All” will be the same!

2014-03-19 00:20:28
RT @Kate_Catlin: 26 Time Management Hacks I Wish I’d Known at 20: http://t.co/ttf9U0y5nf via @egarbugli

2014-03-19 00:43:51
OSX Mavericks, as much as I want to keep you entertained, I don’t have time for another game of Hide n’ Go Find Your Fucking Dialog Box now.

2014-03-19 17:27:39
Is this some kind of a fat joke?!!? RT @UberFacts Vending machines are twice as likely to kill you than a shark is.

2014-03-20 03:01:27
With OSU continuing to underwhelm, there goes my billion dollar bracket! :P Aside from that, things are looking pretty nice!

2014-03-20 19:45:31
Hey @snip2code, is your business model “spam until you’re paid to stop”? If so, you win…I’ll pay you to take me off this mailing list…

2014-03-20 21:27:46
Never mind, @snip2code, I reset my password and changed my email to abuse@snip2code.com. Don’t worry, nobody reads that email; no harm done

2014-03-20 21:34:24
.@cghersi @Snip2Code let the users help…unsubscribe links in your email footer are pretty standard, so they’re a glaring miss for you

2014-03-20 22:56:55
.@cghersi @Snip2Code monitoring your abuse email address, also a pretty important factor that says “we aren’t spray-and-pray marketing”

2014-03-20 22:57:53
.@cghersi @Snip2Code most importantly: I don’t want emails from people I *like* multiple times per week…let alone newsletters

2014-03-20 22:59:26
I’m trying to find a way to turn a 15m conversation about healthy dev team culture into an hour talk for @selfconference. Not going well!

2014-03-21 00:53:41
…and Duke is my first sweet 16 casualty…that stings a bit…

2014-03-21 19:06:23
It has been a long, ugly week. I need a nice, relaxing weekend to recover from it. Here’s to a relaxing weekend!

2014-03-21 20:48:05
Lmfao…yes, this makes everything better! RT @jefflundberg @jer_ Maybe this will help: http://t.co/A2QJnlgDhx

2014-03-21 21:00:29
Barring any UCLA lunacy, I will end round 1 at 23/32. Also, not 1 perfect bracket remains in the billion dollar challenge. #CrazyUpsets

2014-03-22 04:39:56
Thought for the night: http://t.co/9wdu5QcMDr

2014-03-22 04:54:07
RT @towo: git debugging flowchart http://t.co/WFGPDefaKy

2014-03-23 13:53:30
I think that today will be a day of Diablo and Edge of the Empire…somehow @aglance_ drank last night and I got the hangover… #unfair

2014-03-23 14:10:55
I’m geeked! @Penguicon alumnus Jane McGonigal (@avantgame) is doing her first-ever @reddit_AMA on 3/27 @ 3:30 PM ET!!!

2014-03-24 15:32:55
Dev team breakfast was great…but next time, we need #PancakeMittens

2014-03-25 13:16:42
Managing dev projects: 1/3 meticulously planning your route, 1/3 revving up to breakneck speed, 1/3 praying you stay on the road.

2014-03-25 15:59:58
RT @noahsussman: Web site outages are a normal event get over it. http://t.co/bTLqXFSFVX #devoqa #qa #testing

2014-03-25 16:02:04
RT @daniel_barker: I like my coffee like I like my women: integral to the functioning of all major organisations, not just a constant focus…

2014-03-27 12:21:00
No group I’ve ever seen can rules-lawyer a good thing into a shitty shadow of the good thing faster than nerds.

2014-03-27 15:12:29
Yay! Our sewer is backed up. There’s about 6″ of standing water down there…

2014-03-27 21:56:14
Definitely stop trying! No more! Abort! RT @adriarichards Dear tech companies, stop patronizing us with your ineffective diversity efforts

2014-03-28 10:32:14
This is my dream…why can’t this happen to me? http://t.co/HSQBAH25TS

2014-03-28 11:54:26
I’m glad that we arranged our basement with the certainty that flooding will happen. Thousands in damage could have been tens-of-thousands.

2014-03-28 14:13:14
(But #2014isStillRuined)

2014-03-28 14:13:28
RT @eacarlson: I’ll be tweeting about life as a developer + #womenintech with @TellMeMoreNPR @ #NPRWIT today. Until then, breakfast! http:/…

2014-03-28 14:34:12
Follow @eacarlson, @tokiwana, and @TellMeMoreNPR to see a really interesting Q&A for #NPRWIT

2014-03-28 14:55:55
RT @aglance_: Due to sewage back up, I have now renamed my basement Lake Pooperior.

2014-03-28 15:40:24
People ask what I do for a living. I can say without any hesitation that this is perilously close: http://t.co/Ow4zizL5id

2014-03-28 18:28:20
Omg, all of you people reposting the “this is not what democracy looks like” infographic related to wealth levels…look up “democracy”.

2014-03-30 15:14:55
RT @GrandCircusCo: We are teaming up with @GDIdet to bring the women of Detroit the most supportive tech scene in the country! https://t.c…

2014-03-31 10:49:40
I’m thoroughly stressed out from dealing with aggressive projects both at home and work. There is restful place in my life right now. #FWP

2014-03-31 13:37:09
We are going to have to replace our bookshelves. Ikea stopped selling the Expedit series. I’m sad that there aren’t other good alternatives.

2014-03-31 15:37:08
Honestly, I’d prefer non-wood, non-metal shelving for the books…huge swaths of non-wood, non-metal shelving. Like 500″ x 72″ ish #Dreams

2014-03-31 15:41:11
I’m not picky…why can’t I have my porcelain shelving..cheap!? RT @jpbaugh: @jer_ then… porcelain? lol

2014-03-31 15:42:36
My basement is moving into my living area… http://t.co/aw3tWmYvT0

2014-03-31 18:05:07
As is turns out, moving cases of books, shelves, and other heavy things was *not* my brightest move. I believe I have reinjured my back.

2014-04-01 10:23:32
It’s not that I dislike April Fools…it’s that I dislike “poorly conceived false news as ‘pranks'” tremendously. Get clever folks!

2014-04-01 11:36:08
The new Seva location is very convenient to me from work…excellent!

2014-04-02 15:27:20
RT @midnight: Girl are you Ctrl+Alt+Del on a Mac? Cuz I’m hitting on you and literally nothing’s happening.

2014-04-03 10:06:04
When I came in today, Scooby was jamming! http://t.co/G56l6axyEw

2014-04-03 13:12:48
RT @Allisomething: NPR tries to play a joke; accidentally performs the biggest sociology experiment on the Internet ever. http://t.co/d4yaK…

2014-04-03 13:48:45
I don’t use a visible dock/launcher because of how much time I spend during presentations inspecting other peoples’ apps. #JudgingYou

2014-04-03 14:40:19
I unashamedly like Silverchair…especially Frog Stomp… #JudgeMe

2014-04-03 15:46:16
“Having to live with society’s expectations that I accept women just the way they are takes an enormous toll.” http://t.co/hukOiJ8K90 Haha!

2014-04-03 17:58:56
My favorite kind of exhausting day: the one wherein it feels like I accomplished NOTHING for all of the exhaustion. #2014isRuined

2014-04-03 21:52:20
Tomorrow, I get my basement back! I mean…without walls or anything..but…floor space!! #2014isRuined10PercentLess

2014-04-03 21:54:33
I got on a bike for the first time since before I injured my back. It felt awkward, but I was able to ride for 30+ mins #30daysofbiking

2014-04-06 04:41:49
RT @HillaryClinton: Great to meet the strong & brave young women from #PussyRiot, who refuse to let their voices be silenced in #Russia. ht…

2014-04-06 12:02:39
I just saw Hillary Clinton tweet the word “pussy”…I feel like my day can’t improve from here.

2014-04-06 12:03:37
Gorgeous day to ride. 6 hilly miles with a brutal uphill to end the ride. #30daysofcycling #day3 http://t.co/trLL4xtQae

2014-04-06 16:49:55
RT @JRRParker: @jer_ she has only made 64 tweets. Right now, close to 1% of her twitter is devoted to pussy.

2014-04-06 23:10:11
Oh yeah, no 96…this will be fun I expect.

2014-04-07 11:02:25
It took an extra 10 min to get to work… #2014isRuined!!!!!! RT @jamesdotgamble: @jer_ 2014IsRuined?

2014-04-07 12:21:09
Holy shit, this explanation of menstruation and pregnancy is an amazing read! http://t.co/cbjlaQ77Rw

2014-04-08 00:39:51
If I ever make a comedy album, it’s going to be called “Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me No?”

2014-04-08 11:19:36
Haha..definitely! RT @jamesdotgamble: @jer_ Follow up album, “Your Honor, I Apologize”.

2014-04-08 12:31:36
I feel a bit like Magento2 choosing LESS over SASS is similar to Magento choosing Prototype over JQuery…betting on the wrong pony.

2014-04-08 16:22:08
Project Manager: (n) A person whose response to falling behind schedule is to halt all work for meetings about the schedule. #Productive

2014-04-08 18:33:30
I didn’t put many miles on the board today, but I did put miles on the board today! #30daysofcycling #SmallVictories

2014-04-08 22:25:28
RT @RandyTheRandom: RLRT from eldest daughter: Once he gets started, you can’t stop him, @Jer_ is like Juggernaut, but dirtier.

2014-04-09 22:38:16
So, @bfarrugi and Margaret met Elmo today…so that happened! http://t.co/dhTh2aSPW7

2014-04-09 23:11:18
Had a great night catching some improv with friends. Now I really want to take improv classes…Hrmm…

2014-04-10 03:18:16
There’s a lot of orange happening here… http://t.co/oh5cU72ruy

2014-04-10 20:05:21
Just finished doing the 8.5mi trail around Kensington with @aglance_ …and wow am I feeling it!

2014-04-12 21:33:39
I have reached the time in my life when I get very aggressively hit on by women my own age at Starbucks. I’m pretty okay with that :)

2014-04-12 22:06:25
I just auto-piloted my way down to a closed I96. This bodes ill for my ability to do thinky, attention-requiring work today… #2014isRuined

2014-04-14 11:17:11
My evening consisted of hanging PVC wainscoting and trim. #Floodproof http://t.co/VqBsn0hKJ7

2014-04-15 01:06:27
I love bashing things I hate… RT @ArielleIsHammin Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate.

2014-04-15 01:15:49
RT @Jesus_M_Christ: One day one of you assholes is going to have to explain to me why you call the day I got violently murdered “Good Frida…

2014-04-15 01:28:05
I don’t know what the joke is, but the punchline is “there is a quarter inch of standing snow outside”. Spoiler alert: I’m wearing shorts.

2014-04-15 10:30:01
I didn’t know the word fleering, but I know 91% of the other English words according to #wordORnot. http://t.co/Y5zqtwr2Ar

2014-04-16 01:19:15
Finally had to unfollow @shanley. There’s a limit to the crazy that I can deal with in lunatic bursts; the Shanley Limit, it will be called

2014-04-17 00:24:39
See…crazy! RT @shanley .@jer_ Stand in line with all the others, jackass.

2014-04-17 00:39:57
RT @JspiderSF: @jer_ Let me guess: you followed her because she’s cute & writes about tech & you think of yourself as a feminist? But not T…

2014-04-17 00:51:02
.@JspiderSF close…I followed her because I agree with the CONCEPTS she tweets about. I unfollow because of how she stomps on that msg

2014-04-17 00:53:40
.@JspiderSF but please, white knight her some more in the name of feminism. The less you know about all involved, the smarter you’ll look!

2014-04-17 00:55:22
RT @HarryLyme: .@jer_ @JspiderSF “CONCEPTS” ? you mean the #WhiteDevil sermons? or how she ends every 3rd reply to men with “you piece of F…

2014-04-17 01:03:57
Don’t confuse “caring deeply about a thing” with “having to listen to every sociopath rant about a thing”…curate your reading list.

2014-04-17 01:13:46
It’s okay to be jealous… http://t.co/jPNfAHjuCm

2014-04-17 10:21:50
I hate doing work trips to Grand Rapids that aren’t up against a weekend that I can turn into a family visit… #BadlyOptimized

2014-04-17 16:24:47
The longer it goes and the more it hurts, the more I suspect I have stress fractured my foot. Or fracture-fractured it.

2014-04-19 01:50:36
Ten things that men in technology can do to help build diversity… http://t.co/XvfI3HruqZ …and yes, it’s work that *WE* have to do…

2014-04-21 14:26:30
RT @elplatt: The inner cover of the @Penguicon program book is awesome! http://t.co/T3jKSWTVhQ

2014-04-21 23:39:25
It turns out that this is all I need to walk mostly without pain. I’m pretty much a doctor now! http://t.co/3vTOKic6J1

2014-04-22 21:01:08
Achievement unlocked: hang wainscoting. I still need to caulk the crap out of it… http://t.co/rWwWDM4oiT

2014-04-22 22:59:05
So, this happened: https://t.co/2DJWXvR20w SFW, but it is Avril Lavigne and JPop…so…be warned.

2014-04-23 12:01:18
RT @WoodyZuill: If your only mechanism for coping in a dysfunctional system is to “go along with it”, you are dismissing your own power of …

2014-04-23 12:44:31
All of my #HumbleBrags are actually just #BragBrags…I’m too awesome for humility! #BragBrag

2014-04-23 12:57:27
Hey, person with Jesus fish emblem honking and cursing the car in front of you for not going IMMEDIATELY…good advertising!

2014-04-23 20:38:05
This seems totally rational! MT @nrrrdcore: Yes, sometimes you don’t get to have an opinion…don’t detract from my experience or my truth.

2014-04-24 18:01:27
Boys and girls…there’s no such thing as *your* truth. There’s truth, there’s your perception, and there are lies…stop it.

2014-04-24 18:02:51
This has been coming up a LOT in many aspects of my community. Don’t fuck up the culture… http://t.co/RkrkWPybPc

2014-04-25 11:06:20
Next weekend I’ll be at @Penguicon, and one of the topics I’ll be speaking on is corporate hiring culture. Important and so hard to do well

2014-04-25 11:08:12
I genuinely enjoy documentation…but after several days of documentdocumentdocumentdocument I’m pretty sure imma lose my mind. :)

2014-04-25 13:40:46
There is a strong correlation between people that complain that they’re begin “tone policed” and unrepentant assholes.

2014-04-26 12:04:52
As a carpenter, I make a great software developer! http://t.co/LVkB2yrE15

2014-04-26 19:31:51
How did I not know about Chelsea, MI? http://t.co/fOjzknvBH5

2014-04-27 02:13:48
It is a massive pain in the ass the accurately miter trim with a circular saw. I need to go buy a chop saw… #2014isRuined

2014-04-27 17:54:21
The only thing I don’t like about @HipChat on OSX is the lack of notification icon in the status bar up top. Other than that, all <3

2014-04-28 11:58:14
RT @matttrent: Wait you people do know that programming was invented by a homosexual, the compiler by a woman, and ARM architecture by a tr…

2014-04-28 12:49:14
A weird side effect of the glut of click-bait headlines; my eyes just skip headlines and tweets that lead with numbers. #InvisiblePosts

2014-04-29 12:40:47
RT @noahsussman: lol cc @jer_ RT @chris_mcmahon: ironic RT juxtaposition @jonathan_kohl @noahsussman http://t.co/NE5DCXNfoj

2014-04-29 17:26:47
RT @MrObviousGuy: Apparently, much of America thinks #1A means you can say whatever to anyone, free of consequences.

BRB going to tell my …

2014-04-29 21:21:58
Why are people surprised by the Star Wars canon debacle? Abrams did the same thing with Star Trek, he just worked it into the storyline.

2014-04-29 21:28:11
RT @JRRParker: @jer_ they’re shocked because of hope, but it was never to be. They need a new hope.

Wait…

2014-04-29 22:16:01
Signing up for 2014 @TourdeTroit, it’s been a couple of years since I’ve done it…who else is going?

2014-04-30 19:35:41
Today marks 5 years since @aglance_ was foolish enough to marry me; a testament to her bad decision making and my persistence! :)

2014-05-01 11:54:36
In honor of our anniversary, here’s a song that my wife wouldn’t let me play at our wedding. http://t.co/bZ0Iiz04kQ Family should skip this!

2014-05-01 11:55:22
On my way to the hotel to see what the @Penguicon folks are up to on this Thursday evening. I hear there’s an event coming up…

2014-05-01 20:02:23
RT @SwiftOnSecurity: http://t.co/ZS3C7pxN1w

2014-05-02 17:37:57
I am very clever…and sneaky! RT @RumblyPlacenta: @jer_ Claimed he had a conference call and left. Then the bill arrives… Hmm.

2014-05-02 17:52:19
My schedule for the weekend…Board meeting, Flirting for Geeks, and Tech Culture talks… http://t.co/5s2Te8abOa

2014-05-02 19:05:27
This year’s @Penguicon souvenir book is fantastic…nicely done whoever is responsible! Who did the cover art?

2014-05-02 20:45:42
An important break from the con for ice cream the color of my Jeep/watch/laptop… http://t.co/wnsckK8h82

2014-05-03 00:20:32
Okay, morning, let’s do this shit! Shower then we see what the hotel has for breakfast and caffeine… #pcon14

2014-05-03 12:53:07
Strike 1, @Penguicon… Let this be your last strike! RT @RumblyPlacenta @jer_ No eggs benny. :( #2014isruined

2014-05-03 13:14:13
RT @ConFigures: “Great Engineers: Gotta Get ’em All” @jer_ @ranti our panel on tech culture, recruiting, retention starts at 11 in Charlev…

2014-05-03 14:10:29
Our panel discussion seems to be more performance-based than I was expecting. #MoshPit http://t.co/OS7gPoBTg1

2014-05-03 14:51:12
Where should one advertise jobs that would get more women and minorities? Specific links?

2014-05-03 15:31:06
First panel went awesomely…full room and many great conversations. We need more time for Q&A next year. #pcon14

2014-05-03 16:21:36
If you attended the “Gotta Catch em All” panel, I’d love to hear from you what you thought we could have spent more or less time on #pcon14

2014-05-03 16:44:44
Yesterday when there were less people at the con, the artists in the hall were genius. Today, they are a serious traffic clog. #pcon14

2014-05-03 21:59:49
Next up, my final panel of the evening…Flirting for Geeks…a collection of bad advice and inappropriate humor! #pcon14

2014-05-03 23:54:22
We have interpreters. This can only go well… #pcon14

2014-05-04 00:05:54
I shit you not, a unicorn just dropped some knowledge on us in this panel! #pcon14

2014-05-04 00:28:40
Breakfast time, judging by the volume and lateness of the parties last night, I suspect we’ll have the restaurant to ourselves. #pcon14

2014-05-04 11:59:21
I was correct… 4 tables taken. Ghost town. The entire buffet is for me! #pcon14

2014-05-04 12:15:40
RT @constructacon: More will be revealed on this…but #ConStruct2014 is happening this summer…stay tuned… #2014isRuined

2014-05-05 13:07:51
Chrome ditching visible URLs is the easiest thing that they could do to drive me back into the memory-leaking arms of Firefox #2014isRuined

2014-05-05 13:09:34
Gorgeous lightning today…I just want to pull over and watch the storm…

2014-05-07 11:29:06
The handout from our tech culture panel at @Penguicon is up and added to my link share: http://t.co/KSc70dLHLH Thanks @ConFigures and @ranti

2014-05-07 13:55:17
Ugh, I really need to put an SSD in my laptop. I realize how first-world this “problem” is, but I’m too narcissistic not to post about it.

2014-05-07 14:54:00
Also, #2014isRuined

2014-05-07 14:54:09
RT @chipchilders: Google Exec Demos The Internet Of Jerks by @owenthomas http://t.co/l2dteCeBep

2014-05-07 18:58:19
That someone is me… RT @UberFacts Someone loses, breaks or sits on a pair of sunglasses every 14 minutes in the U.S.

2014-05-08 02:13:20
Wait, surely this could not have worked, right? http://t.co/QyzSOOxYD5

2014-05-08 03:03:05
I just looked over and both dogs are sitting and staring at my laptop with me. I wonder what they think I’m doing…

2014-05-08 16:07:23
It’s hot out…I think I’m going back to shaved head for the season. #2014isBald

2014-05-08 21:13:18
Rapid balding imminent… http://t.co/Trcm6BkuEm

2014-05-09 00:54:38
I made up for not getting as much done at work as I wanted by fixing @aglance_’s bike, riding around Kent lake, and shaving my head.

2014-05-09 01:01:04
I haven’t shaved my head in about two years, so I’m happy that I ended with only one minor nick. http://t.co/SWs5Fy8UF5

2014-05-09 01:30:45
I have tighty-whities and blue food dye, let’s roll! RT @jpbaugh @jer_ Now you just need to start cooking meth out in the desert.

2014-05-09 01:47:18
Study shows that professors are more likely to respond to email from white males than other groups. http://t.co/3iBlvbWw5N #Interesting

2014-05-09 01:55:45
Today I’m rocking a new shirt, since trying not to be actively sexist makes one traitor to the mens!… http://t.co/LvBGJdj9mq

2014-05-09 10:21:49
RT @scalzi: Remember: If Amazon tells you that it’ll be 2-3 weeks before a book is stock, your local indy bookstore can get it to you MUCH …

2014-05-09 12:41:23
QOTD: “It does feel like something to be wrong; it feels like being right.” –Kathryn Shulz http://t.co/PIZEww9jgQ

2014-05-09 12:48:12
I *NEED* this shirt: http://t.co/Y4KWh0Wv3b

2014-05-09 13:53:54
Public service announcement: If you do a Google Hangout On-Air…the video gets publicly placed on your YouTube channel. Important to know!

2014-05-09 14:23:21
To be clear, re:my PSA earlier…this is totally opt-in and is realistically expected behavior, I’m just a dunce and didn’t realize it. :)

2014-05-09 15:01:19
RT @annabeloakes: Hey kids, instead of giving your mom breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day try: letting her fucking sleep, you sunshine-activa…

2014-05-10 09:43:26
Why wouldn’t I want to be wide awake at 530am on a weekend? #2014isRuined

2014-05-10 09:53:08
Just got out on the water for the first time this season; the first time ever for the pups. True to form, Bowser jumped in. #PuppyLifeJacket

2014-05-10 22:27:17
I’m reasonably certain that this tweet will be the pull quote on my tombstone RT @BaDawnKDonk: Hey @jer_ – KFC brought back the Double Down.

2014-05-12 11:38:41
Hrmm…how did I not know that Kiva had a Detroit arm? http://t.co/oA5as3dJJt Interesting.

2014-05-12 12:54:01
Driving out of tornado watch zone…this is a good idea!

2014-05-12 20:24:05
It is very windy out here.

2014-05-12 20:59:19
I have arrived home safely…Jer: 1, tornadoes: 0

2014-05-12 21:14:20
Hey, @umdearborn, I’m not sure what time xx:xx is, but it’s a relief the storm ends then… http://t.co/UsnIIbu7Rc

2014-05-12 21:34:19
As usual, @SethGodin nails it! ‘No’ is essential; it’s the key to making my ‘Yes’ valuable. http://t.co/PvmFntpCgv

2014-05-13 10:38:29
Saturday’s sunburnt scalp has lead to today’s peeling scalp. #BringingSexyBack #2014isRuined

2014-05-13 11:49:56
RT @hipsterhacker: Just finished rewriting all my ember apps on backbone, and now I get to rewrite them all on angular. Feels good to make…

2014-05-13 14:10:55
The first couple of weeks after I shave my head is full of people asking to touch it…not that I mind, a shaved scalp feels pretty neat.

2014-05-15 11:59:38
Weird side effect of working from home; I usually put in more hours normal. I suspect it’s working through my commute hours.

2014-05-15 12:17:03
I have been basically doing nothing but reqs analysis for 2 weeks. Today, my inbox has a job offer for a tech writer. /me kills himself.

2014-05-15 12:20:46
RT @noahsussman: the human cost of interruptions http://t.co/pseAl2bgm1 #culture #automation #devops

2014-05-16 01:28:43
What the crap, my son turned 17 a week ago, my daughter turns 16 this weekend. I’m pretty sure I’m not old enough for that.

2014-05-16 13:04:21
RT @andrewducker How I bypassed 2-Factor-Authentication on Google, Facebook, Yahoo, LinkedIn, and many others. http://t.co/P4O30owyUM #li

2014-05-17 22:31:47
RT @ranti: +1 RT @skrug: Bloggers: Please, please include a publication date in your posts (Hate trying to figure out if this was yr thinki…

2014-05-18 11:04:26
RT @ghostwritingcow: Out of 32 #NebulaAwards nominees, 22 are women, half are new nominees, and an LGBT nominee is represented in every cat…

2014-05-18 11:33:48
Kids’ birthday weekend continues… Yesterday was whirleyball, today is Spiderman 2 and Star Wars role play!

2014-05-18 19:45:01
Step one of turning @aglance_ into Liz Lemon complete: cupcake jammies! http://t.co/p3IQr8KwHy

2014-05-20 13:13:59
How is it that there are no good pictures online of the green bridge in Minoa, NY? There is a pretty narrow list who might understand this.

2014-05-20 14:27:55
RT @AtlasSmugged: This is what happens when we don’t have class consciousness http://t.co/tcNrtz0umz

2014-05-20 18:06:18
RT @MaryRobinette: How To Be a Better Feminist Ally http://t.co/WDd5BmV8gt

2014-05-21 01:19:17
Why you should redesign your office for introverts–or why I have to work from home to get things done… http://t.co/kPyPPp0aA1 #li

2014-05-21 01:31:48
An hour playing in the sun plus a couple of hours with the top down in traffic in the sun == moderate scalp sunburn. #redhead

2014-05-21 14:43:26
Wait, you can get a Mike Doughty performance for less than $10k? Let’s take up a collection! http://t.co/LlS3cjsZ0y #NotJoking

2014-05-21 20:38:54
As a rule of thumb, in a job interview if you’re asked a question that you don’t understand…don’t wing it! Please. We beg of you!

2014-05-22 12:34:19
RT @freckles42: I fucking LOVE my city. Thank you, @JoeCurtatone, for standing firm and speaking out. @SomervilleCity http://t.co/UkqOiz9h…

2014-05-22 12:42:26
The redesign that @bitbucket has done on their site is the first I’ve seen in a while that makes the site noticeably nicer to use. Kudos!

2014-05-22 12:44:13
The weather looks nice for the weekend. We’re going to go paddling on the Huron River, if anyone wants to join Saturday “morning”…

2014-05-22 13:59:05
Those interested in the canoe trip…details: http://t.co/ceWjYpCZXA It’s a good time! Come get sunburned with us!

2014-05-22 14:17:46
Once upon a time, I drank a glass of chocolate from a fountain at a wedding reception. Bad things ensued. http://t.co/5ePailJKng

2014-05-22 19:09:03
RT @eacarlson: I could use a handful more volunteers for @selfconference! If you’re available to help & would like a free ticket: https://t…

2014-05-22 20:24:47
Me too! ;p RT @AaronThul @jer_ I still think about that story EVERY time I see a chocolate fountain.

2014-05-22 20:41:45
RT @mushenska: Just so you know, this is what happens if you’re a woman online & have a negative opinion of V*x D*y: http://t.co/4DX4GjI64f

2014-05-23 10:04:21
…but men aren’t the problem, amiright? I have the privilege of never being threatened with rape, and look at what I’m wearing!

2014-05-23 10:07:43
Shit, my secret is out! RT @UberFacts Using swear words can also make a person seem more persuasive.

2014-05-23 10:19:36
When someone asks why I use Nook instead of Kindle, I can point to yet another cash grab by @amazon that hurts authors and readers.

2014-05-23 10:23:04
Abolish sleevery! http://t.co/GyEMdIyrZO

2014-05-23 11:25:36
Excellent article about relationships. I had to learn (and am still learning) to do this with my wife. #SelfAbsorbed http://t.co/Hpt8wDigz7

2014-05-23 14:19:10
RT @SmartBitches: LOL @BooksaMillion is all, HOW BOUT THEM APPLES? with ~ 40% off Hachette titles: http://t.co/LIfORBuqGe

2014-05-23 18:37:10
Paddling excursion was a success…the water is crazy high and very fast. The canoe can be managed solo, but it’s super sluggish.

2014-05-24 19:47:22
Photos from today’s trip. http://t.co/Xw8h3BGA3c 7 miles, 3.5h with several lengthy stops. The water was MOVING! We will be going more soon!

2014-05-25 01:59:01
Go read the #YesAllWomen hashtag. Read the testimonials from women, and ass-hattery from men. Both are important. http://t.co/br048nyQJt

2014-05-25 02:32:29
RT @alanstorm: Developer Translations: “Your project is too complicated” means “I wish I’d been here at the start of your project”

2014-05-26 04:15:46
It’s gorgeous out, and rain is no longer in today’s forecast…Time to go paddling!

2014-05-26 13:10:34
It is gorgeous out. For real…absolutely beautiful. Perfect kayaking weather! We were lucky and left before it got crowded on the river!

2014-05-26 18:46:27
RT @DMReporter: MISOGYNY: We find Elliott Rodger’s crush, blame her, print a bikini pic, don’t moderate comments and call her ‘girl.’ http:…

2014-05-26 19:25:04
RT @mattblaze: “Your password is too similar to a previous password” – > WHY ARE YOU STORING MY OLD PASSWORDS IN THE CLEAR?

2014-05-27 14:08:28
I demand that we do this via phone. Also, I cannot figure out how to make or take calls. This is my day so far.

2014-05-27 14:21:57
Wait, what’s going on here? http://t.co/AVjYrWSNAa

2014-05-27 18:46:47
My anecdotal experience backed by science: dim lighting can improve creativity. http://t.co/c2WtlHW3a4 via @noahsussman

2014-05-28 14:16:31
Often, I feel like a fraud because much of my technical wizardy involves Googling well and applying what I’ve learned. #ImpostorSyndrome #li

2014-05-28 18:10:03
Note: recognizing the effects of Impostor Syndrome does not necessarily negate them–it has taken years to learn to ignore the effects. #li

2014-05-28 18:48:57
The take-away is: if you feel like an impostor; you’re not alone and you’re probably not one–actual impostors aren’t that self-aware… #li

2014-05-28 18:53:46
Oh dear god! RT @jamesdotgamble: @jer_ What’s even scarier is that our physicians are probably doing the same thing that we are.

2014-05-28 19:13:35
RT @TheDanWells: The Fermi Paradox, explained more fully and more clearly than I’ve ever seen it: http://t.co/h5KO8hwEQJ via @waitbutwhy

2014-05-29 10:31:28
Linus Torvalds reading tweets about him. These are great! http://t.co/zIhOLxNy1g

2014-05-30 18:24:36
RT @wagnerfilm: “UNFAIR! NOT ALL MEN!” Imagine a bowl of M&Ms. 10% of them are poisoned. Go ahead. Eat a handful. Not all M&Ms are poison. …

2014-05-31 11:21:49
The jeep, bristling with boats, before our trip yesterday… http://t.co/AfzzSYbJlG

2014-06-01 10:31:35
RT @noahsussman: We hired you because of your innovative ideas!

Now use our process/tools for all projects or we’ll give you a bad perform…

2014-06-02 02:14:13
Slept poorly and woke too early…I do not expect “concentrating” to be a thing I do well today; good thing I’m adopting a project today!

2014-06-02 12:31:34
There is a Llamas with Hats game for Android/iOS. I repeat: THERE IS A LLAMAS WITH HATS VIDEO GAME! Back to work *sigh* I guess…

2014-06-02 12:57:14
You can call it OSX Yosemite all you want, it’ll always be OSX Weed to me… #WWDC

2014-06-02 17:15:14
You had me at “Dark mode”, Apple… #WWDC

2014-06-02 17:18:42
Normally I’m annoyed when people watching #WWDC say “Android already had that”…but that’s been the theme for nearly 15m now…

2014-06-02 17:56:07
QuickType should probably throw a quick thank you to SwiftKey now… #WWDC

2014-06-02 18:00:19
Perfect! I was just thinking “You know what we don’t have enough of? OO programming languages. Could we get a platform specific one?” #WWDC

2014-06-02 18:49:36
RT @SwiftOnSecurity: Really, Apple? You named an OSX-only programming language after me? I boot BSD on this. http://t.co/kg7M7T235c

2014-06-02 22:49:58
Oh, @aglance_ you’ll be a star! RT @kellyoxford There should be a drama series about women trying to figure out their mystery leg bruises.

2014-06-02 22:53:43
RT @codinghorror: Don’t think of Swift as a new programming language. Think of it as an entirely new source of Stack Overflow reputation #m…

2014-06-02 23:04:15
“Leadership is a choice. It is not a rank.” Why good leaders make us feel safe. http://t.co/XIGjwehthb

2014-06-03 14:25:41
I only wish that it had ended in an Eagle…I miss JD & Turk! http://t.co/Uu7fcuBYDX

2014-06-04 10:44:39
It’s been nice for a week and change…but today it’s crappy for a drive to Grand Rapids. That’s fair!

2014-06-04 13:45:38
RT @lanettecream: Reason why you need exploratory testing as part of your agile process. Made boxes for plant life. Trees planted: Pass htt…

2014-06-04 22:44:48
And science RT @daveanthony Except books. RT @OpenCarryTexas: We don’t fear anything. That’s why we carry guns.

2014-06-05 10:48:38
Black Sheep’s “Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing” is still a really fun album, even after 20+ years…

2014-06-05 20:39:00
When @aglance_ is not home, this is what I have to deal with. #Needy http://t.co/WgO697K68a

2014-06-05 21:58:51
Lmfao… @jakonrath is “the go-to source for all things publishing-related” in his mind. This is awesome! http://t.co/K12WGw6xgZ

2014-06-05 22:46:53
Today is apparently the day for batshit crazy authors to post crazy, detached-from-reality screeds. So many words devoted to stupidity!

2014-06-05 22:48:19
Amidst authors behaving like idiots, some folks are claiming that YA is somehow unworthy of adult readership. How about read what you like?

2014-06-05 23:13:02
Read romance, ya, chick lit, sf, fantasy, horror, cookbooks…read what you want. Anybody saying otherwise is trying to sell you their book.

2014-06-05 23:17:53
RT @jasongorman: The key factor in agility that software organisations usually balk at is treating developers like grown-ups. They just can…

2014-06-06 14:01:04
RT @neilhimself: Read @slate YA piece. It dismisses satisfying endings and sympathetic characters as YA, then says Dickens, king of both, i…

2014-06-06 15:29:57
We knew Bowser missed Yoshi and @aglance_ when he took up smoking… http://t.co/Vasb7AVYKG

2014-06-07 11:58:22
What if many of the password strength testers were just data collectors used to model passwords for better brute force apps? #li

2014-06-07 12:29:04
Season 2 of “Orange is the New Black”…ready…GO!

2014-06-08 00:42:42
At the very end of today’s paddle, I realized that I’d forgotten to apply sunblock. Coincidentally, I am a deep shade of red. #lobster

2014-06-08 04:14:07
Day 1: Not currently pregnant! #100HappyDays

2014-06-10 02:02:27
RT @KimKierkegaard: Should I use my sins to terrify the public?Or should I keep this terror hidden in my innermost being? Trying on a few l…

2014-06-10 12:37:12
A fellow Sparkly Code Princess, @adactio, with whom I share two names! #SmallWorld http://t.co/0sxxOHpkQS

2014-06-10 21:07:47
Day 3: Hit on a chick at the gas station…pepper spray missed by a mile! #100DaysOfHappiness

2014-06-11 11:54:26
Correction…the pepper spray made it into my car…I take it back…#Not100DaysOfHappiness

2014-06-11 12:08:03
Correction to my correction…the pepper spray added a nice tang to my breakfast sandwich! #100DaysOfHappiness

2014-06-11 12:20:38
This is for you, @atdt1991… http://t.co/qIxzFyNSlK (But I want some too…)

2014-06-11 12:25:30
If you use Tweetdeck (especially in browser), sign out and suspend it’s access to your account. http://t.co/lNEbKa6xzE

2014-06-11 18:12:17
I just died inside… RT @codinghorror JavaScript: A Great Place to Work (via @konklone) http://t.co/vHBAe12bSt

2014-06-11 22:41:45
Day 4: Mail order pet was less mobile than advertised…however, the lack of air holes in the box make it not my problem #100DaysOfHappiness

2014-06-12 15:58:39
It’s been a long time since I’ve been threatened by some tug-of-goo Facebook badass. I missed it so! #Troll

2014-06-12 23:44:04
RT @nkjemisin: Ask A Game Dev slaps some stats on people who think women don’t game: http://t.co/1LkhvCB8LO

2014-06-13 11:35:21
The river is very cluttered after the last set of storms…lots of dodging! http://t.co/uqb6KxL1H7

2014-06-13 20:30:03
I want this so very much! But first, they need one that’ll hold two people… http://t.co/KYKVcHRt9q

2014-06-14 02:16:00
Ber and I explored the Huron River stretch from Kent Lake to Island Lake (ish) http://t.co/GJc1wMy1Op

2014-06-15 02:46:08
Also…Kayak selfie! I’ve never felt more like a teenage girl! http://t.co/juxBawrjdB

2014-06-15 02:54:03
It seems that I look old enough to be @_chelseybaker’s dad…happy father’s day?

2014-06-15 22:37:20
It is entirely too early to be awake for work. Bleh.

2014-06-16 08:21:33
On the way to Cincinnati, passed a bar called “Frickers”…” Frickers”…it’s just fun to say…”Frickers”

2014-06-16 12:50:20
“Frickers” really “satisfies”!

2014-06-16 12:51:09
RT @nadams5755: @jer_ snickers really fatifies?

2014-06-16 19:05:50
RT @eacarlson: I’m so excited to announce that applications are open for the Fall 2014 @DetroitLabs Apprentice Program! http://t.co/ECLp3yY…

2014-06-17 16:40:44
That tears it! I work for the wrong company… :) RT @_chelseybaker: #TacoChallenge @DetroitLabs http://t.co/HRs4VShFtX

2014-06-17 17:08:14
Now that I don’t usually work a million hours per week, I get tired way more easily…my reduced caffeine intake does not help! #exhausted

2014-06-17 17:24:41
That last lightning strike was huge, bright, gorgeous, close, and moderately terrifying…Nature is such a badass!

2014-06-18 11:20:38
I’m not saying we got a Wii U because a black console looked better on the shelf…but it was definitely a factor #MarioKart

2014-06-21 22:36:46
Filthy, filthy pikmin! http://t.co/g8PPK2HEPN

2014-06-22 13:03:21
Mario Kart 8 online play is a great deal of fun…but not having voice chat during the race is a huge miss! #TrashTalkFromLastPlace

2014-06-22 14:32:37
Lmao RT @FriendlyAssh0le can someone give this man an advil? http://t.co/OhTl4p7Vny

2014-06-22 15:42:50
Forgot that @aglance_ was home…just got caught singing “You’re my best friend…” to a can of Monster I was taking out of the fridge.

2014-06-22 15:49:54
I know many people that “get bad service” constantly; all of em bad customers. They won’t recognize themselves here. http://t.co/pCbgiD7Iwc

2014-06-23 00:54:09
If you have some major complaint every time you go out, your friends notice. We over tip, talk about it, and duck dinner plans as a result.

2014-06-23 00:56:43
Yep…this stuff never happens, right guys? RT @miss_raej Pro-tip: Don’t mess with me on my own Facebook page. http://t.co/u1r0VP09kf

2014-06-23 01:42:33
Kid: “I drew the monster from my nightmares!”
Parents: “And now it’s your stuffed friend!”
#ChildAbuse http://t.co/6k3O1NQdaH

2014-06-23 12:24:40
RT @_chelseybaker: Me: “How do I stop eating?”
@jer_ “I dunno, run out of food and money? Fall asleep?”
Perfect

2014-06-24 00:54:17
RT @eacarlson: Only you can prevent street harassment.

2014-06-25 10:27:36
Fellas, can we all recognize that shouting “compliments” at random women has about a 1‰ chance of “working”. The other 99‰ you’re a psycho!

2014-06-25 10:31:19
Also, it’s notable that “nice tits”, “I’d do you”, etc. are not “compliments”. As it turns out, shouting at women is a bad pickup strategy.

2014-06-25 10:36:17
The jury is still out on the viability of sending a note that says “do you like me, check yes or no”…it’s my go-to move!

2014-06-25 10:37:38
There are many tools that are helpful in trying to grok an XSD; the most helpful by far is a pair of noise canceling headphones… #li

2014-06-25 12:32:15
It’s a really good thing that I came in early today, as a highly communicable meeting outbreak has infected my calendar. #BookedSolid #li

2014-06-25 14:09:57
Just one more working day before the longest vacation I’ve had in over a decade! It may or may not be well deserved, but it’s much needed!

2014-06-26 02:09:30
Hah! #li MT @akiva: Most programming job descriptions translate to this: how compatible are you with our poor choices and can you save us?

2014-06-26 12:31:47
RT @Penguicon: Penguicon 2015 will be at the Westin Southfield on April 24-26th, 2015! http://t.co/zbjOhh8trf

2014-06-27 00:55:22
I appreciate how lacking in subtlety dogs are. “You didn’t see that I want you to play with me? I’ll chew on this toy on your foot then!”

2014-06-27 10:34:00
Hey parents, stop whining! You just come off as crybabies with a martyr-complex; your kid is interesting only to you. http://t.co/5XxvV7QWPS

2014-06-27 13:27:59
Middle-aged, badly over-tanned woman out shopping in a shirt that says “dry goods”…truth in advertising? #Awkward

2014-06-27 22:49:30
Truth! I only became happy when I started seeing income as a means to fund things I want to do. http://t.co/l9s8lH70uZ #li

2014-06-28 21:58:06
It’s no secret that I no longer negotiate for big salary increases; but instead more vacation. More cash won’t enhance our happiness. #li

2014-06-28 22:02:19
This week’s schedule of rain, lightning, and misery is going to put a damper on my camping plans…get it…damper! *sigh*

2014-06-29 10:08:22
…damp…er…

2014-06-29 14:55:46
The pups on Friday’s paddling trip http://t.co/0fyayumpso

2014-06-30 00:22:55
Can someone explain how an owner’s religious beliefs can be held by their company and that doesn’t pierce the corporate veil for liability?

2014-07-01 00:53:58
RT @ScrewyDecimal: Planned Parenthood is matching all donations today only. Personally, I like having reproductive rights, so I donated: ht…

2014-07-01 01:42:55
I chose a muggy, damp, overcast day to start kayak camping…

2014-07-01 14:22:59
Kinda pretty out… http://t.co/6ggp6UFz2P

2014-07-01 17:29:49
3 miles of wind-in-my-face paddling has kicked my ass…2 more to go http://t.co/LastILFX0B

2014-07-01 18:35:57
Good start this morning…realized there’s no fresh water for around 20 miles, so I had to backtrack a half mile upstream. Doh!

2014-07-02 12:51:00
My nemeses lie in wait… http://t.co/a0yzo6aZva

2014-07-02 15:25:20
Mission accomplished…2 days, 35 miles… Now to shower, aloe, and sleep! http://t.co/W5TsPZawZ4

2014-07-03 00:03:17
I disagree with the accent and can’t believe Dinosaur BBQ isn’t on the list, but overall, true Syracuse facts here: http://t.co/K6GA8ZDuM5

2014-07-03 02:23:49
Photos from my kayak-camping trip this week; next week, I plan on blogging about the experience. I learned things. http://t.co/VVCxUXpa8d

2014-07-03 20:37:04
This makes me far happier than it should…this dude is Kickstarting his potato salad… http://t.co/pzM3BGEQL5

2014-07-04 00:48:33
RT @BarackObama: Throwback to last week when a woman—not her boss—made her own decisions about her health care. #TBT http://t.co/xmQ5e7DFmW

2014-07-04 03:20:04
RT @ciphergoth: Muslim messageboard: “Jihad, who’s with me?” “Hey, how come your IP tracks back to the Daily Mail?” http://t.co/UjpJWfwQYh

2014-07-06 10:37:22
Why does every classist Republican I know have a personal anecdote of meeting a welfare thief? Where are they hanging out?

2014-07-06 11:42:58
I have lived in brutally poor neighborhoods, and I’ve run into zero people who proudly bragged on their welfare status and gamesmanship.

2014-07-06 11:55:08
Most people I have met on assistance are very quiet about it…possibly because classist dickbags treat “poor” like a communicable disease.

2014-07-06 11:57:22
Yesterday, we paddled around Horseshoe Island. Today, we go to Lake Ontario http://t.co/uh39Qg4sfw

2014-07-06 12:32:36
RT @GrandCircusCo: Our “Learn To Code” course taught by @DetroitLabs very own @eacarlson is back again by popular demand! Register now! htt…

2014-07-06 15:27:40
RT @HackerNewsOnion: “Farewell Node.js” writes area blogger @tjholowaychuk in a new post on @Medium, a site written entirely in Node.js

2014-07-08 11:11:27
Got a short paddle on Deer Creek to Lake Ontario, now we are hunkering down waiting for the huge storm to blow in!

2014-07-08 21:18:44
We are about to get hit hard! http://t.co/fzZUVP2YWe

2014-07-08 21:27:27
You can have reasonable gas mileage, or you can stack three boats on your Jeep for 550 miles. You cannot do both…

2014-07-09 14:28:06
RT @Dymaxion: Waiting for the inevitable “Keybase.io compromised, all stored private keys leaked” story.

2014-07-09 22:41:03
RT @Auxome: 2 jobs:

Your job as a manager is to shield your employees from useless shit.

Your job as a manager is to rain opportunity on …

2014-07-10 09:25:30
RT @BadAstronomer: My friend @ZachWeiner has a very intelligent article on why the @CIA Twitter feed is so galling. https://t.co/ZYu4WBS7cg

2014-07-11 01:51:04
Sunset over the moonlight paddle at Gallup Park…a very pretty night. Thanks for the invite @babsmcphee http://t.co/KXJZWYmDiH

2014-07-12 04:14:00
RT @eacarlson: Six months later: my former hometown feels like some weird Twilight Zone where I used to be somebody else.

2014-07-12 19:20:54
This is some powerful stuff…It might have gotten a bit dusty in here as I read it. http://t.co/rABRiVrtW6

2014-07-13 23:01:48
RT @shanselman: American out of office: “I’m on vacation but will check email hourly. Reach me on my mobile.”
European: “I am unavailable u…

2014-07-14 11:58:52
This product is made for me! http://t.co/ktdlfXPhLw (Followed by “Holy Shit, that’s a $170 hoodie”)

2014-07-14 14:29:23
Listening to this guy try to cancel his @Comcast service is infuriating. Reminds me why I’ll never go Comcast again! http://t.co/1ZC3mv7fnS

2014-07-15 10:33:11
This song (and this video) was a great way to find out about @JennyLewis’s new album at the end of the month! http://t.co/L01DY4IAxi

2014-07-15 17:35:57
I’m sometimes reminded why I’m selective about members of the Penguicon community with which I’ll associate…mostly by some shit bag.

2014-07-15 19:38:34
Drivers…I know you’re super important, but don’t enter an intersection you cannot clear. You, too, can have a gouge in your car!

2014-07-15 22:18:30
RT @WajahatAli: New Female Thor to be paid less than Male Thor. Reports already suggest she is “bossy” and displays “God-like” arrogance.

2014-07-16 12:46:03
Hrmm…I did not know that it is illegal for an employer to encourage pay secrecy. http://t.co/9ytd5yxY4s

2014-07-17 10:03:26
Hey, Jerlance Perkins-whoever you are-learn your email address. If I keep getting your email confirmations, I’m taking over your accounts.

2014-07-17 12:55:56
It’s a pretty day to be a turtle or a dude in a kayak http://t.co/8AXLbkBQ9v

2014-07-18 18:03:25
So Destiny can be played on 4 systems…but players cannot pay between systems? I have to pick and hope my friends choose the same?

2014-07-19 02:30:48
This nails down a thing I’ve not been able to put a finger on…Director-level responsibilities in engineering roles! http://t.co/FcwXHZsHZF

2014-07-19 11:12:18
A decent rule of thumb: if I don’t have the authority to require things be done a certain way, it shouldn’t be my responsibility.

2014-07-19 11:14:09
RT @wonderella: “Well, it shouldn’t be flying in such an unsafe place looking like an attractive target” -If the jetliner was a teen girl

2014-07-19 11:15:04
“This SCOTUS hobby lobby ruling won’t be expanded in scope” -people defending that shit. Not. True. http://t.co/mQ7t47sztU

2014-07-19 11:22:03
There, 5 photos that make me feel beautiful. Stop tagging me! (Nobody has ever tagged me) http://t.co/lxHNm9x7sP

2014-07-19 14:54:35
Bowser and Yoshi kayaked through the Argo cascades…Yoshi did not enjoy! http://t.co/7MDFydIe2p

2014-07-19 19:27:51
A very worn out pile of pups… http://t.co/yCp3Kn5gkh

2014-07-19 20:58:44
Fun fact: by default your macbook pro responds to random Apple TV remotes. Volume and iTunes. Office fun shall soon commence!

2014-07-21 12:50:50
RT @nkjemisin: Huh! A site connecting Detroiters with outstanding water bills w/people who want to pay it for them: http://t.co/xJnQRbfjtF

2014-07-23 02:29:05
Writing a data specification is not hard. Figuring out what you were doing when you get sidetracked writing a data spec is rocket science!

2014-07-23 12:54:14
RT @peterjurich: What’s the male equivalent to resting bitch face? Doesn’t seem fair that we say that about women who don’t look happy ALL …

2014-07-23 14:43:15
FWIW, I’m told my resting face is pretty angry looking. I can count on one hand the number of times I was told I should smile.

2014-07-23 14:44:06
RT @crebma: We need a camp instructor to teach html/css to kids in Detroit next week, mornings til 2pm Mon-Sat. Can you teach with me?

2014-07-23 17:30:50
I almost never job spam here–that’s what LinkedIn is for–but if you’re a Java or PHP dev looking for a great place to work, hit me up.

2014-07-24 11:52:35
This Oct 25/26, join fellow @Penguicon attendees and friends for a night of coding and Jer inappropriateness http://t.co/gRe0MG3bJh

2014-07-24 20:42:06
Tonight, after work, we paddle the Argo cascades! http://t.co/7Zot5ObRst

2014-07-25 11:16:07
I want to be famous–solely so that when I do Bill Murray-esque randomness it’s endearing, not creepy! http://t.co/0XeDw1u6mS

2014-07-25 12:02:07
The lineup for Riot Fest this year is pretty bad ass. If they still had VIP passes, I’d really consider it… http://t.co/STwgsgT0fW

2014-07-26 11:22:58
Scarlet Johansen stops fucking time in the trailer for Lucy and you are hung up on the “10% of our minds” trope? You seem smart!

2014-07-27 20:02:40
Seriously, I hear every thread about how the 10% thing is untrue and it ruins the movie in the Simpsons’ comic book guy voice…

2014-07-27 20:04:55
This weekend my daughter and I did the Argo Cascades…I have some very wet video of the run… http://t.co/UVHDxmTsRE

2014-07-28 18:18:14
My parenting style? Hope that they are learning the right things from me, or getting so fucked up that they can be standup comics…

2014-07-29 12:06:07
Not a week goes by where I don’t need one of these at work! :) http://t.co/oT0YmJNGkO

2014-07-29 21:55:27
RT @SamSykesSwears: Politicians spend a week trying to live on minimum wage. Then they quit early. http://t.co/ltuTByw74B

2014-07-30 18:26:23
The word ‘just’ in software development ranks right up there with ‘easy’ and ‘clone’ in generating terror for me http://t.co/LiYArrIjf9

2014-07-30 19:31:07
In over 20 years, I think that I’ve never once put the ‘tar’ arguments in the correct order. Same for ‘ln’. #ComputerExpert

2014-07-31 12:50:17
I just saw someone propose “drink raw milk” as a response to “nanotechnology” being put in milk. I agree…weed out that gene pool! *sigh*

2014-08-02 16:27:57
RT @daveanthony: The idea of @realDonaldTrump being afraid of an ebola patient being brought into the US is my new favorite thing

2014-08-03 12:19:17
It is crazy easy to irrevocably delete an AWS server. Guess how I know! 20 minutes of panic! #li

2014-08-04 20:12:26
In related news, I can recreate one of our development environments very quickly now…not as quickly as I can delete one though… #li

2014-08-04 20:20:37
RT @JewelStaite: Secret’s out: we’re planning an orgy. And you get to help. RT the hell out of this please and contribute!
http://t.co/78R…

2014-08-05 00:56:57
RT @BeakerMeeps: Meep meepmeep meepmeep meep MEEPMEEP!

2014-08-05 23:30:57
My…frigging…hero! RT @DrewFromTV Runner runs courses that look like dicks. And her name is Wykcoff. Tee hee. http://t.co/tUGZA2adXp

2014-08-06 09:19:09
Forgot to pack a belt after the gym…I suspect I’ll be showing a little underwear throughout the day…

2014-08-06 11:09:51
If you are middle class and proposing a flat tax as a solution to our troublesome tax situation, you are probably very bad at math.

2014-08-08 13:12:41
RT @emmkaff: Scientists: Don’t freak out about Ebola.
Everyone: *Panic!*Scientists: Freak out about climate change.
Everyone: LOL! Pass m…

2014-08-08 17:07:09
Great day! Breakfast with friends, bicycling around Kensington, and a second viewing of Guardians (just as good time 2). Now for dinner…

2014-08-09 21:09:37
My work isn’t the price-competitive option; you can substitute inferior work at a lower rate. I offer “better” http://t.co/TEyzikl9kw

2014-08-11 13:37:09
Unrelated to my last note…this is my new favorite thing at the moment… http://t.co/Xz2sOER2wo

2014-08-11 13:41:40
It is slightly moist out here! http://t.co/BGXkY2brNu

2014-08-11 21:13:45
My self loathing runs plenty deep with only addiction to manage. Adding depression to the mix is terrifying. If you are suffering, seek help

2014-08-12 12:22:27
RT @DocOnDev: When you disagree with someone, rather than explaining why you disagree, start by asking, “Can you help me understand?”

2014-08-12 18:43:01
“Can you help me understand why you are such an idiot that doesn’t understand simple concepts”. I’m amazing at this… @OakParkGirl

2014-08-12 18:43:37
RT @zeldawilliams: Thank you to all those donating to @StJude in memory of my father. I’m overwhelmed. The charity meant the world to him, …

2014-08-13 12:04:11
RT @BaDawnKDonk: This line made me think of @jer_ : “being a disinterested, vaguely antisocial prick is often all kinds of fucking funny.”

2014-08-13 12:32:34
Robin Williams’ suicide hit me somewhat harder than I’d have imagined. Some thoughts about addiction and depression: http://t.co/ucm1ZAji0N

2014-08-13 13:27:52
On 8/20 @gricommerce is hosting a webinar focusing on ecommerce in the food and beverage industry. More info: http://t.co/XkiIbGHCir #li

2014-08-13 19:27:29
True to form, @ericamoen has a profoundly powerful take on Williams’ suicide, and not wanting to exist in general: http://t.co/31E3lSFAxp

2014-08-13 19:31:16
RT @michaelianblack: People confused about the right wing’s lack of solidarity with #ferguson, you may not have taken racism into account.

2014-08-14 09:22:09
RT @_chelseybaker: I’ve never been on a software project where nail care was a regular discussion because over half the devs were girls. Th…

2014-08-15 14:01:39
“Hiding” == “locked in a room” ;P MT @aglance_: Thought Yoshi had gotten out […] –turns out he was hiding in the house.

2014-08-17 15:53:12
Few things I’ve ever linked to have spawned more defensive words than the article about ice dumping as faux philanthropy. Well done givers!

2014-08-18 12:03:29
RT @MelindaTaub: Hello 911? A gang of armed maniacs have kidnapped a small Missouri town. Can you send I don’t know, what’s like the oppos…

2014-08-18 14:09:08
This is the ice challenge I can get behind. Spread a message… http://t.co/WZRgAQ0YXp

2014-08-19 11:38:51
Seth Godin on slacktivism… http://t.co/av2ABU4zMC

2014-08-19 11:46:14
I’m late to the party, I know…but @jimmykimmel’s Celebrities Read Mean Tweets is the best thing I’ve watched in a while!

2014-08-19 12:40:16
One ongoing OSX irritation I have…when a dialog appears, I cannot tab to a different selection and hit enter, I must use the mouse.

2014-08-19 16:47:15
RT @saladinahmed: Maybe the mot honest 60 seconds or so CNN has shown in its history. Wow. ht @getnickwright https://t.co/YW1dgcc20f

2014-08-19 16:49:45
Turns out, as my hair grows out I’m nearly indistinguishable from Nate from behind! http://t.co/rOCjGjykAG

2014-08-19 20:46:38
RT @locoernesto: I have yet to hear anything about #Ferguson from Miley or Bieber. Katy? Iggy? Everyone wants to be black until it’s time t…

2014-08-20 19:36:42
Kaitlyn is experimenting with a standup desk…her standup desk is just “desk + 4 inches”

This has made my morning! http://t.co/8cshzmyhLp

2014-08-21 11:36:43
What a terrifying thought… What if the Ferguson Riot Squad had a mobile device kill switch? http://t.co/EnFkEIvJZ2

2014-08-21 12:54:53
Today is GRI’s Aviation Week paper airplane contest…prizes for best flying, worst flying, and fanciest. I think I have worst in the bag!

2014-08-21 14:04:27
Most of the conflict I run into at work is when craftsmanship and utility collide. Don’t hate me, PMs! http://t.co/z1rgDIHguK

2014-08-21 17:06:51
RT @_chelseybaker: I’m aware of ALS now, guys

2014-08-22 09:20:19
I just nose-sprayed coffee RT @VaguelyFunnyDan Lululemon. Letting strangers know exactly what kinda vulva you’re workin’ with since 1998.™

2014-08-22 13:33:32
Today is, apparently, “Hug Your Boss” day. Currently trying to pay the dev team to hug our former boss Dan! #GoodEmployee

2014-08-22 17:11:57
I remember after junior prom we went to Olive Garden for our fancy dinner… -@aglance_

2014-08-23 14:18:11
Cop against cams: “Would you like to be monitored on your job?”
Sure…I’m over 20 years on the job with zero murders!

2014-08-24 03:45:37
Cop against cams: “Would you like to be monitored on your job?”
Like every retail employee? Alright…

2014-08-24 03:46:39
Cop against cams: “Would you like to be monitored on your job?”
I would like it marginally more than being shot by a jack booted thug!

2014-08-24 03:47:25
RT @BoobsRadley: Punk’s not dead. Punk is resting its eyes. Punk works hard all week. Just please, go play quietly and let punk sleep.

2014-08-24 11:06:31
Powerful post…we’re all racist… http://t.co/CrD2keqkqS

2014-08-24 11:25:09
FInally caught up on series 7 of Doctor Who so I could be underwhelmed by the start of series 8. Hopefully they find their footing soon…

2014-08-24 19:23:33
RT @QualityFrog: As one who has been involved in creating ISO standards in the past, the low quality of the content of ISO 29119 surprises …

2014-08-25 13:19:20
This is both a great depiction of the development of an specific app and of development in general. http://t.co/kn6ImD49BZ #li

2014-08-25 13:50:36
RT @GirlsWhoCode: “We Can Code It!” FANTASTIC photo from #GWCVerizon’s Rosie the Riveter Day!!! http://t.co/GPRQdHnnE6

2014-08-26 10:24:32
I no longer refer to an interface as “so simple, my mother could use it”…I say “so simple, my PM could use it!” :) #SorryPMs #Sorta

2014-08-26 12:06:03
RT @MARIADAHVANA: I like this Should You Catcall Her chart. It works & was created by @playboy which actually makes me kinda happy. http://…

2014-08-26 17:54:22
Fellow @gricommerce folks doing the ice water thing! http://t.co/mJGA1b4GBV

2014-08-26 20:12:03
I can’t think of anything more damaging to a child than having a parent that continually saves them from the consequences of their actions.

2014-08-27 09:54:18
.@malik4play few things will get you pulled from newsfeeds faster than autoplaying videos. Malik’s “Gaming Daily” does so (cc: @nerdist)

2014-08-27 11:32:43
I needed a cover to cut the ridiculous glare off my macbook’s aluminum body.. #blinded http://t.co/tu7YVl5TVr

2014-08-27 17:26:49
Mike Rowe writes a well thought out post about his not dumping ice water on his head, and he’s an asshole? Very altruistic, you IBCers!

2014-08-28 09:46:30
To make sure I understand the rules…it’s not about shaming people into charity, but if you don’t do it, you will be shamed. Gotcha.

2014-08-28 09:47:52
This, about impostor syndrome: http://t.co/Fzx9Lp90mM It took so long to get past the worst of it; it’ll never be all gone I think!

2014-08-28 09:54:02
The Ferguson challenge…god I love Jon Stewart… http://t.co/vKqG1Tc1HR

2014-08-28 11:10:00
I want so badly to do the tiny home thing; I have two years to convince @aglance_ before the kids are grown and it’s a possibility!

2014-08-28 18:33:29
For those keeping up with this, Russia has sent troops into Ukraine, Telegraph UK is updating regularly: http://t.co/LQ3X6Z9kp0

2014-08-28 19:12:09
Yeah, it could have been infinitely worse, but it took a whack out of the collection. It sucked in a very first-world problem sorta way…

2014-08-28 19:13:18
Two out of three are legit :) #notWindsor RT @nerdist Well so far the leading Detroit recs are @slowsbbq, @CaesarsWindsor, and don’t die.

2014-08-29 01:32:15
I went to bed by 10pm, so why wouldn’t I be wide awake at 4am?

2014-08-29 08:28:37
Truth bombs… RT @_chelseybaker I CAN’T EVEN http://t.co/9mgPvBt5Vl

2014-08-29 12:39:45
Just watched some dude stop a passing car from his with a tape measure, spit game, and (I think) get a number. He’s my hero!

2014-08-29 19:06:26
“Look, I’m fancy!” – @aglance_ indicating her plastic yard of margarita! #fancy

2014-08-29 21:20:51
#OddballFest last night: loved @ronfunches, @nerdist, @hannibalburess, and @sarahsilverman. @chethinks and @natebargatze destroyed!

2014-08-30 11:16:09
RT @avantgame: Announcement: Readers who feel threatened by equality no longer welcome – HELL YEAH! http://t.co/91JZzByMPt

2014-08-30 11:41:58
RT @RDGluck: interesting counter-view on Robin Williams’ death: http://t.co/DjsDjKvVeb

2014-08-31 10:37:38
There’s a certain type of unassailable ignorance that no logic can pierce; for that, there’s “unfollow”. #Can’tTeachSexistPigsToDance

2014-08-31 12:36:43
RT @abt_programming: Junior Dev: thinks they know everything

Regular Dev: thinks they know nothing

Senior Dev: hates computers

– @philip…

2014-08-31 14:33:29
RT @JessicaValenti: There is nothing wrong with taking nude photos. Save the shame for the assholes who get off on humiliating women.

2014-09-01 02:29:19
RT @simonpegg: There seems to have been a spasm of boorish misogyny on Twitter of late. The women in my life, without question, make me a b…

2014-09-01 12:35:47
RT @fmanjoo: I’ve never heard anyone respond to financial hacking by saying, Just don’t use online banking. That’s what you get for using c…

2014-09-02 00:51:41
I wonder how long before they start disrupting other carpools? RT @lukejduncan Uber now does carpooling. Awesome http://t.co/RA9QFxQoUL

2014-09-03 11:40:29
RT @pattonoswalt: One of the funniest things that happened this summer — @BootsRiley makes FOX News shit its pants: http://t.co/i7fqZCNVF2

2014-09-03 15:15:26
Rule of thumb: If you email me, then IM me to see if I got it, I’m probably ignoring your email AND your IM. #DidYouGetThatThingISentYou?

2014-09-03 16:10:10
RT @jesseltaylor: “Home Depot had a massive data breach, and my credit card info may have been stolen.”

“Simple way to avoid that: never i…

2014-09-03 17:16:20
Today’s MotD! :) http://t.co/i9c7YQkAxL

2014-09-04 11:22:07
If there were no longer an unfiltered chronological view of the people I follow on my timeline, I would have no more use for @twitter at all

2014-09-04 18:12:22
So, food for thought @twitter; if you filter my reading list, it means leaving FB for here was a mistake and I should look further afield.

2014-09-04 18:13:42
RT @liamosaur: Favourite thing in my .bashrc remains:
alias fuck=’sudo $(history -p \!\!)’ http://t.co/gCRF9RLvHL

2014-09-05 10:28:38
Mind…blown… http://t.co/kc8HAFNvxj

2014-09-05 10:57:49
Ugh, folks introducing “facts” into a discussion without supporting them. “Prove me wrong” they say. You kill and eat babies, prove me wrong

2014-09-07 21:16:37
Yeah, this is pretty much spot on. #li RT @eacarlson If Programming Languages Were Weapons: http://t.co/aMK7B9aJFV

2014-09-08 00:01:12
I’ve been at work for about 2.5 hours and I’m JUST NOW starting on my actual job. This is likely to be a long day :) #FixAllOfTheThings!

2014-09-08 13:38:39
It’s rare that I get a request for help that reads so much like “fuck off for helping me.” This is my last time helping this org.

2014-09-08 19:36:07
Basic rule: If you ask for help and someone agrees, be responsive to their info requests. You burn more bridges the other way.

2014-09-08 19:36:59
After a couple of years away, it was really nice to be back in front of a class. A really engaged group of students!

2014-09-09 00:01:23
“I love it when they fist bump and walk off stage after nailing the kraken” —A dude who didn’t hear that in his head before he said it

2014-09-09 17:25:13
Okay, I do NOT trust Vinnie from Florida over here with my credit cards… #AppleEvent #MafiaLookingPinkShirt

2014-09-09 17:52:28
RT @katefeetie: Remember ladies, if you don’t wanna get blamed for being violated, just don’t go on elevators, take pictures, walk down the…

2014-09-09 21:37:39
Best food name ever in my graze box… http://t.co/HarSIe5Fuz

2014-09-10 13:30:17
OMG I love ranting about things so much. Seriously, I need to find a way to get paid to rant!

2014-09-10 18:12:51
Remember, everybody, the only way to win today is to be the most ostentatious in your patriotism! Bonus points given for xenophobia!

2014-09-11 09:24:26
If you want to show patriotism today, educate yourself on a few issues you do not currently understand. http://t.co/yOiewEt2vT

2014-09-11 09:31:59
RT @andymatic: 1. Go to http://t.co/9ixoyXp63N
2. Click on 14-28
3. Comment “I want internet service providers classified as common carrier…

2014-09-11 18:26:57
RT @GregStolze: Nobody gets polio any more, but Jenny McCarthy can’t be everywhere at once.

2014-09-12 13:27:22
Bon Jovi’s “Runaway” #BadPoleDanceSongs

2014-09-13 11:17:44
RT @crebma: Hey cool kids! I am looking for one more speaker for the September 18th @nerdnitea2. Anyone want to talk, or know someone who d…

2014-09-13 11:35:36
This is pretty much the best thing, today… http://t.co/iZP9KeWL2x

2014-09-13 16:49:46
“Canada is a non-extradition country, right?”…”Extra-nice is not the same as extradition” #PenguiconBoardMeeting

2014-09-13 17:04:58
“Brick” by Ben Folds Five #BadPoleDanceSongs

2014-09-13 20:43:22
I’m so geeked that @Penguicon is going to be a sponsor of @SelfConference 2015! #WeLoveConferences!

2014-09-13 20:47:43
“That Smell” by Lynyrd Skynyrd #BadPoleDanceSongs

2014-09-13 21:05:46
Nice day for kayaking…I don’t think we’ll see many more of these this season…

2014-09-14 14:41:35
RT @patio11: Simple exercise: use an actual credit card to buy an actual copy of your product quarterly. That experience is important but …

2014-09-15 13:07:30
RT @lightrecoil: We are about 5 weeks out from the 24-hour marathon LAN for Children’s Miracle Network. Please consider donating! http://t.…

2014-09-16 14:15:00
Wow, I expected that the first tests of the raised minimum wage would be revelatory; I didn’t expect to this degree. http://t.co/6096GGZP8J

2014-09-16 17:10:27
I don’t know how long it has been like this…but this is a thing at work currently… http://t.co/icLvVDudzr

2014-09-16 17:18:13
I just drove to work, in Ann Arbor, without my bag. No laptop. No workie. *sigh*

2014-09-17 11:26:40
I haven’t been downtown in Detroit for a while…I’m loving the increased bike lanes!

2014-09-17 21:07:00
Whichever way you vote today, good luck to you, people of Scotland!

2014-09-18 10:46:35
A thought: “Hey, when are you getting to this?” (especially when there are tools for that) actually SLOWS the process of “getting to this”

2014-09-18 14:55:23
Do I know anybody local that can put a new video card/logic board in a Macbook Pro quicker than the Apple Store’s 5 days?

2014-09-19 13:27:54
First response to my technical support request from Mike made me laugh out loud… http://t.co/tyncmEgTDL

2014-09-19 14:02:39
The new trailer for the Borderlands pre-sequel is absolutely hilarious…and the game play looks amazing.

2014-09-20 00:02:37
RT @britain: What a week in sports huh? Shout-out to all the authority figures of my youth who let the jocks do whatever they wanted to us …

2014-09-20 00:10:37
Time to ride the bikes… #TourDetroit

2014-09-20 10:24:27
Just a few people at #tourdetroit #teamAlpaca http://t.co/Py7bTUtKTH

2014-09-20 12:53:28
This thing is ridiculously well run #tourdetroit #teamAlpaca http://t.co/8f3441rJaU

2014-09-20 15:36:51
We made it! And aglance_’s first long ride, to boot! http://t.co/EI26srEsrl

2014-09-20 17:10:24
Also, Bell Isle selfie! #tourdetroit #teamAlpaca http://t.co/UR42mJg01q

2014-09-20 21:44:57
RT @thinkprogress: St. Louis Police Academy promotes “highly entertaining” course on Michael Brown shooting http://t.co/R1XwfswsPR http://t…

2014-09-21 12:10:02
RT @cynixy: Threats against Emma Watson reflect recent incidents in the games industry—and around the world. http://t.co/r2sn9QZNhD

2014-09-23 21:26:06
RT @hitRECordJoe: Lots of people saying they prefer the word Humanist over #Feminist. So I looked it up, and it turns out “Humanism” means…

2014-09-23 21:42:39
I spent the last 15 minutes micromanaging my free tire rotation after watching them walk a tire around the car and put it where it came from

2014-09-23 22:11:14
In their defense, they were cool about it… “that’s not right, you need help?”…” Yeah, I don’t know where these fuckers go”

2014-09-23 22:12:36
Most of my day is spent trying to explain exactly this! http://t.co/CJo7IyyieN

2014-09-24 11:14:30
Okay fall, we can start this season off sick as hell…no worries. JUST KIDDING, PLEASE LET ME NOT BE SICK ANY MORE! #MyKidsWillPay

2014-09-24 11:20:58
A good gauge of how sick you are is when a conference call briefly starts to echo and you can hear your voice back…I do not sound healthy!

2014-09-24 14:49:56
Anybody have an invite for Ello they can send me?

2014-09-25 22:23:19
I am @jer_ on Ello…for those using such things :)

2014-09-26 00:51:23
This made me think of @eacarlson RT @jackiekircher corgi stylesheets :) http://t.co/Qs6GvwgKdY http://t.co/up3eja1H72

2014-09-26 01:07:26
Even a half day of camping has worn the pups out! http://t.co/HL5WYdXdEH

2014-09-26 22:41:18
Gorgeous day on the St. Joseph River! http://t.co/0w1uFV2eg6

2014-09-27 21:01:36
This is an absolutely bad-ass response to some all-too-familiar Fox News misogyny. http://t.co/TipxEYLSYe

2014-09-28 19:02:18
RT @dguido: #shellshock affects: PureFTPd, qmail, Exim, Postfix, procmail, suPHP, CGI, SSH, Inetd, OpenVPN, stunnel, dhclient, calls to she…

2014-09-29 11:05:43
John Cleese explaining Fox News…it doesn’t get much better than this! http://t.co/KU1efZ4kqk

2014-09-30 23:28:31
Oh yeah, I was promoted. Today is my first day as a Solution Architect at GRI. Happy October! #li

2014-10-01 12:17:05
Holy shit, Windows, you are the worst. Involuntary reboot to apply updates that you fail to apply resulting in a series of undo reboots.

2014-10-01 23:11:56
RT @pattonoswalt: Everyone calm down about Ebola. It’s very hard to catch. You can ONLY get it if someone else on the same continent as YOU…

2014-10-01 23:13:33
I was attempting to explain this concept at work today. R(0) and why I’m not worried about Ebola http://t.co/dTlHop7xd2 #Science

2014-10-03 01:13:01
Anybody else going to the Ignite event in Ann Arbor on November 7th? http://t.co/htJAxUEUIR

2014-10-04 11:24:38
Flying robots that shoot lasers at each other for $25! http://t.co/u91ru8TZdU

2014-10-04 13:51:49
RT @ellenchisa: I finally have an answer for “Do I need to be technical to be a PM?” No, but you need to wish you were: http://t.co/QCmK4V…

2014-10-05 03:16:48
Okay, this had me at naught otters…somebody fucking with an SMS spammer, and it’s great! http://t.co/P01MYOq2CA

2014-10-09 01:41:07
At the gym today…I gained another pound… http://t.co/lZphmgxF1N

2014-10-09 09:37:12
Shuffle in my music library constantly finds me gems I had forgotten…today is Marc Cohn’s “True Companion” which I used to love.

2014-10-10 11:44:00
“There ain’t no act of God girl, that can keep you safe from me”… *wince* not romantic Marc

2014-10-10 11:45:22
Judging by the sharp uptick in spam I’m getting to my LinkedIn-specific email address…is it safe to assume that @linkedin sold my data?

2014-10-10 12:12:58
I suppose, an only barely less sinister possibility is that @linkedin is “helpfully” letting people add me to groups and lists again.

2014-10-10 12:13:33
RT @scalzi: Face it, dudes: “GamerGate” is a toxic thing. You can’t say you support WITHOUT explicitly standing with those who hate and har…

2014-10-11 15:41:27
Seriously, @nerdist and @amy_geek, please stop posting autoplaying videos in your articles. They’re hell on RSS feeds.

2014-10-12 23:13:46
Last week was a long week. This one is shaping up to be way, way longer. If I bail on plans, this is why!

2014-10-14 02:18:07
It’s not about justice. It’s not about journalism. It’s about assholes perpetuating abuse toward women. #StopGamerGate2014

2014-10-15 21:09:12
Long awaited videogaming…Borderlands pre-sequel with aglance_ http://t.co/KvduNzjfwO

2014-10-15 21:18:50
The first interaction with Mr. Torque makes the game completely worth the price of admission. FRIENDZOOOONED! #BorderlandsPreSequel

2014-10-16 00:18:25
Omg yes! #li MT @noahsussman When the team should have seen the outage coming… NO. That’s the hindsight bias. http://t.co/81NWEaRyRP

2014-10-16 13:53:01
RT @ElizSimins: “They threatened the wrong woman this time. I am the Godzilla of bitches.” http://t.co/O9eDBAhosI by @Spacekatgal 😍

2014-10-17 09:49:10
Uh oh…productivity wall approaching rapidly. I can literally feel my ability to focus waning. That bodes ill for the afternoon!!

2014-10-17 17:41:01
RT @RandyTheRandom: I can’t stop laughing at this HT @freebsdgirl “@lawblob http://t.co/61cWzjm1UX”

2014-10-17 22:35:28
Masturbating action figure…48 of the best seconds I’ve ever spent on anything ever. http://t.co/xiuzQ3Vdlm

2014-10-18 04:17:04
I am definitely not drinking this! http://t.co/CynbYmMPCb

2014-10-18 05:30:34
This is what I woke up to this morning. http://t.co/X4tPtGr8ai

2014-10-18 12:08:18
This came in the mail. So far, it’s as crazy as you’d assume by the subtitle… http://t.co/94J8TPqiMd

2014-10-19 12:24:16
Excellent blog post about Borderlands 2 and inclusivity. After #GamerGate it’s nice to see someone getting it right. http://t.co/1FGxvLnXMF

2014-10-19 22:53:20
I beat you, Monday. I kicked your ass. You tried to distract me with meetings, but 15 hours later, you lost. Come get some, Tuesday!

2014-10-21 02:03:05
RT @eacarlson: Why RTFM Is Some Bullshit. http://t.co/vyKaFOImYg (This is important to understand if you want to teach people to be program…

2014-10-23 09:29:18
RT @amyschumer: .@hannibalburess is hilarious and can say whatever he wants. Take a breath and move on like when you found out Santa wasn’…

2014-10-23 09:34:50
Pro tip: starting work early so you can leave early just means that you are more tired when you leave at the exact same time.

2014-10-23 21:23:19
RT @noahsussman: Petition To Rename First Day Of Daylight Savings to “fucked up cron job day”

#devops #testing #qa #opslife http://t.co/1…

2014-10-24 11:41:06
My systems are named after My Little Ponies. This is the name of my TimeMachine backup drive… http://t.co/OhlXX7CB0y

2014-10-24 11:59:09
Please don’t forget, I am raising money for Children’s Miracle Network through tomorrow, so please consider donating: http://t.co/6pzqHA7K1Z

2014-10-24 18:34:53
We will be live-streaming tomorrow’s LAN, and will be dancing for your amusement…and your dollars. Details: http://t.co/Q2QVNGC8dq DONATE!

2014-10-24 18:36:24
I’m not above bribery, so in response to a request that accompanied a donation, the Snoopy Dance will make an appearance on stream this wknd

2014-10-24 19:32:36
It’s two words…so why do I have to google “SHOW WARNINGS” every time I need to remember how to show MySQL warnings… #ProDeveloper

2014-10-24 22:05:28
I received a $25.00 donation supporting Extra Life! http://t.co/KkBTsNeV4b

2014-10-25 01:28:01
RT @lightrecoil: We have updated our donation page to include our our TwitchTV stream URLs http://t.co/84lodA6r2Y (http://t.co/84lodA6r2Y)

2014-10-25 13:36:28
RT @lightrecoil: Currently @jer_, @jsabada, and @ssmereka playing Diablo III, @7heBigBadWolf on WOW, and @cskelly playing some stupid FPS. …

2014-10-25 14:40:50
When not playing, I think I’ll just stream my cookie clicker instance. Gaming will be ongoing! #ExtraLife2014

2014-10-25 16:16:53
Time for Left 4 Dead 2. It should be noted, I am the WORST at this game… #ExtraLife2014 Stream: http://t.co/a7otmdeQcM

2014-10-25 17:38:23
RT @lightrecoil: First punishment game will happen at 4ET. Enviro-Bear!!! The person that gets the most donations by 4 gets punished. http:…

2014-10-25 19:41:35
Everyone I know…go here: http://t.co/pPx13h9ion and donate a buck or two in the name of punishment…ENVIROBEAR!

2014-10-25 19:45:43
I donated in support of Extra Life! http://t.co/pPx13h9ion

2014-10-25 20:01:04
I received a $1.00 donation supporting Extra Life! http://t.co/KkBTsNeV4b

2014-10-25 20:02:03
RT @lightrecoil: Donations of $50 to @cskelly edged out the donations of $26 to @7heBigBadWolf. Watch Cory play envirobear! http://t.co/kFi…

2014-10-25 20:04:33
You guys are awesome. We’re just short of 12 hours in, and the last round of voting took us over our $1000 goal. <3 you all! #ExtraLife2014

2014-10-25 23:23:11
I just unlocked my Extra Life 2014 T-shirt! Join me Oct. 25 to Play Games and Heal Kids with @extralife4kids http://t.co/1H8nEz1Ksh

2014-10-26 00:42:03
Damn it @ossymoon, you dick!! :) MT @lightrecoil We have a tie! the game will be 2-player QWOP. Starting at 10pm http://t.co/vB9k6VGFmM

2014-10-26 01:45:39
Hrmm, I think I allowed #ExtraLife to tweet on my behalf…but I’m gonna let it ride until morning. Sorry for the spam. Donate to shut me up?

2014-10-26 01:49:17
It took like 66 minutes, but @cskelly and I got 11.3meters in two-person QWOP…QW = me, OP = cory #ExtraLife2014 Keep the donations coming!!

2014-10-26 03:02:42
Remember, donations go to the Children’s Miracle Network…just 9 hours to go… http://t.co/91KCWcUNi5 #ExtraLife2014

2014-10-26 03:06:28
So, “Five Nights at Freddy’s” is seriously frigging tense. I only finished day 1…and it was TENSE. I’m iffy about day 2…

2014-10-26 08:32:30
RT @starsandrobots: Today @FTDIChip ensures it is protecting innovation, by causing entire hardware community to ask how we can make device…

2014-10-28 00:51:22
October has been a fairly shitty month, and is really going out with a bang…today and tomorrow are liable to suck.

2014-10-30 09:53:09
RT @Proteautype: Bill O’Reilly has killed irony with his bare hands. R.I.P. Irony. (Via @MazMHussain) http://t.co/Lc2OYUFlcK

2014-10-30 09:53:55
I love how serene the office is before anyone else shows up! http://t.co/7Wbdw6Bi0h

2014-10-30 10:18:47
My costume (under duress)…I’m a Jerbil (a mythical half Jer, half gerbil) http://t.co/ZkyWDd68IA

2014-10-30 13:12:23
“Why are you offering to trim my nails?” RT @Eretria8 @jer_ try to avoid cardboard tubes. Trust me.

2014-10-30 13:28:59
My plan was to come home and get some more work done. I can’t bring myself to do it. My plans have failed!

2014-10-30 23:39:59
My friend–and a bad-ass developer–@_chelseybaker, made an iOS app as part of @detroitlabs’ #AppAWeek challenge: http://t.co/jZ0OjiI9Iy

2014-10-31 12:45:50
Truth RT @lukejduncan I’ve been there, and I can think of a handful of people I admire would say they have too. http://t.co/St7ZJj1rXF

2014-11-03 02:19:48
I bang the “Impostor Syndrome” drum a lot, but it took so long for me to internalize it—I hope others believe it more quickly #li

2014-11-03 16:01:26
RT @Spacekatgal: The Wu family is offering a reward of $11,000 for identifiable information leading to the prosecution of people sending me…

2014-11-04 03:08:59
Time to get my vote on! Go vote, or I reserve the right to mock you for the lazy shit that you are for two more years…

2014-11-04 11:59:08
Next time you’re upset about the inconvenience of a factory recall on your vehicle…I just heard about a hip replacement recall. Wtf!

2014-11-04 17:06:52
MT @51M0NW 100% utilisation leads to bad code. Give devs slack, let them explore, refactor and write software more sustainably #CodeMesh #li

2014-11-05 02:43:20
I adore when people confuse “not giving you a platform” with “censorship”. Like a little kid confused why cake isn’t breakfast.

2014-11-06 09:50:45
RT @freebsdgirl: Hey guys, I did this thing. It’s for you. You’re welcome. #ggautoblocker https://t.co/RYT2PdzyZz // @blocktogether

2014-11-06 09:58:21
“Have you ever been told you look like the dude offa King of Queens?”…well, I’m going to the gym twice as long from now on…

2014-11-07 01:14:27
Don’t tell me I look like Kevin James, just give me my triple cheeseburger… *sobs into a donut*

2014-11-07 01:15:58
*sobs into a blooming onion and deep fried oreo* RT @JRRParker @jer_ cheer up. They probably meant Jerry Stiller.

2014-11-07 01:20:21
Ugh…I hate being sick. I don’t have time for being sick. This is thoroughly inconvenient.

2014-11-07 16:06:54
What you do (and don’t) owe your job! http://t.co/t2gdCp8UDJ A pretty good read…

2014-11-07 21:20:48
So, umm, did anyone else get an absolutely crazy email from @BrowserStack about their security today? I’m just wondering how legit? #li

2014-11-10 01:02:23
The weird @browserstack email in question…note that I didn’t pastebin this, so others are getting them too: http://t.co/2pUkUYDDM8

2014-11-10 01:18:02
RT @SamSykesSwears: “That’ll be $7 for coffee you’ll turn into pee.”
“Seems legit.”
“How about $9 for a book you’ll have forever?”
“What, a…

2014-11-10 02:31:27
.@daveanthony trick question…you have to be over 18 to vote!

2014-11-10 02:53:00
“It is nearly mathematically impossible for you to pass at this point”…”but you’re saying there’s a chance, right?” #ThatHappened

2014-11-11 02:26:17
“Aww…don’t cry! You’re so ugly when you cry…”

2014-11-12 04:35:54
If you look carefully, you’ll see some snowflakes flitting about. This is one of my favorite things!

2014-11-13 11:43:36
It comes up with clockwork regularity…apparently my ‘thinking’ face looks very angry. “I thought you were so angry at me today” comes often.

2014-11-13 14:55:20
Seriously? Pick 2? Based on this, I’m stage 3 exhausted when things are going well! I’ve got like 5/8! http://t.co/l9i0SaJxob

2014-11-13 21:51:32
Fun Fact: if you are searching for pics of a recent European space excursion and getting naked pics of a Kardashian, it’s spelled “asteroid”

2014-11-14 00:20:41
Get it? Asteroid?

2014-11-14 00:22:56
Because “asteroid” sounds like “ass-teroid”? Like an “ass” then “teroid”…get it?

2014-11-14 00:25:51
Plain white van. Hello kitty window decal. I can only assume “free candy” is spray painted on the side? http://t.co/EZzbYSsseH

2014-11-14 02:50:56
Oh how I hate wearing long pants…

2014-11-14 12:10:57
RT @scalzi: If GamerGate were made into a musical, I suspect the songs would be from Fred Durst and Nickelback.

2014-11-15 11:03:18
Ber and I are celebrating opening day by picking up 290 pounds of grass fed Beefalo. What cowasaurus is 291# per half?

2014-11-15 16:46:55
The aforementioned pile of meat! http://t.co/JLXVLe5POh

2014-11-15 20:21:24
Wow, today kicked my ass in a big way. I am in desperate need of an actual break. What a first world problem, eh?

2014-11-18 02:09:36
Seriously! RT @Kristina_Blott If I went to a place called “zandy” and all they had was Mike & Ike’s I would be irate. Try again, zoup.

2014-11-18 02:12:51
Capping a busy work day with several hours of lecturing turned into exhaustion…it’s going to be an “all of the caffeine” kinda morning.

2014-11-18 11:05:28
Oh snow, how I have missed you!

2014-11-19 17:15:58
RT @MarianneSierk: Hey ladies!! If you get yourself raped by a popular celeb, make sure a MALE comedian talks about it so the world will pa…

2014-11-20 02:44:32
Who has two open, tired eyes and is out of his night-night pills? This guy!

2014-11-20 05:42:53
The view from my desk. #BieberFever #Belieber http://t.co/vbAFRu3bHT

2014-11-20 13:38:03
All is well with the world…installing Android 5!

2014-11-20 21:20:21
It’s true! RT @QuotesFromGRI The Bieber has Jer Fever.

2014-11-21 00:41:08
Holy shit… #FeministHackerBarbie is the absolute best thing I’ve read in weeks!

2014-11-21 11:14:29
RT @corrine: I could do this all night. #feministhackerbarbie http://t.co/Hv10CZQaQl

2014-11-21 11:15:07
RT @doublehelix: #feministhackerbarbie knows her web dev http://t.co/HpMMcFMiAb

2014-11-21 11:16:17
RT @mcobb: #FeministHackerBarbie is pure gold – I could read this stuff for days! http://t.co/OoUcghNvA5

2014-11-21 11:16:53
RT @ShiroSirius: I know I’m late to the party on #FeministHackerBarbie, but honestly this is my favourite thing ever now http://t.co/Xmc7wK…

2014-11-21 11:17:10
RT @ParentingGeekly: This #FeministHackerBarbie by @doublehelix is my fave so far. http://t.co/CNvB7yJg8R

2014-11-21 11:17:47
RT @erinspice: Brian said it couldn’t be done. #FeministHackerBarbie http://t.co/dBbBuFWpiv

2014-11-21 11:20:51
I can think of several people that follow me that should read this. I suspect they won’t. Women in Astronomy… http://t.co/Oo0UE7EVZ6

2014-11-22 16:20:43
I haven’t been to Manuel’s Taco Hut in years. I think it was @irasciblejoe that introduced me to the place?

2014-11-22 22:20:10
These are stupid amounts of mesmerizing… http://t.co/xeNlzmmCUv

2014-11-23 00:56:22
Wondering what to get me for Christmas? The Joan Anderson letter is going to auction in December!

2014-11-24 22:46:20
RT @alexsteed: White folks celebrate other white folks who rioted about taxes but wonder why communities that lose children to police viole…

2014-11-26 00:07:40
The shitty part about a short work week is fitting that whole normal work week into just three days. The goal: < 30 work hours this week.

2014-11-26 01:51:00
RT @lukeoneil47: If the state murdering citizens isn’t worth rioting over then literally nothing is. That’s the one single thing riots were…

2014-11-26 02:28:29
If we were watching news about Egyptians rioting because their police were killing civilians and not facing trial, we’d cheer them on!

2014-11-26 02:39:17
No matter how you feel about what is going on in Ferguson–in America–please try to exercise empathy… http://t.co/9RlEAo6x5H

2014-11-26 02:50:12
I can already see that I’m going to get to do some social media cleanup this week…there’s some racist shit that will have to go!

2014-11-26 03:30:41
Holiday time! I’m not ending the week with under 30h, but I am under 40…I’m calling that a win!

2014-11-26 22:02:39
Based on the tweets about the parade on television, I’m guessing our boycotts of employers that make people work on thanksgiving failed?

2014-11-27 23:47:17
Your job is not to write code. Yes…oh god yes! http://t.co/3KhNfsfKMF

2014-11-28 19:02:44
RT @nzkoz: Code comments http://t.co/2KDRdfFE9u

2014-11-30 12:29:13
Harlan Coben on gratitude. A must read during your post shopping hangover… http://t.co/zaaZEo1qYn

2014-11-30 12:38:20
I got new tires for the Jeep…now I just need copious amounts of snow. BRING ON THE SNOW!

2014-11-30 14:35:13
We are celebrating National Eat a Pie Day at work. We are celebrating this with pie. I just had pie for breakfast. #AdultLife

2014-12-01 14:16:26
QOTD: It seems like most really good programmers are really bad teachers, so you must be a really bad programmer. –A student to me today

2014-12-02 00:56:13
A week of increasingly unpleasant heartburn has culminated in even more unpleasant nausea…it’s as fun as it sounds! #NoSleep

2014-12-03 12:39:42
Okay, I *need* to be better tomorrow. I cannot afford to lose another day this month!

2014-12-04 02:32:28
This article remains pertinent and so dead on over a year later. Seth Godin on unreasonable clients: http://t.co/NtluipWbCA #li

2014-12-05 11:20:56
There was a time that unsubscribing to someone’s message thread was hard to do. I no longer wish to teach people that don’t wish to learn.

2014-12-05 16:53:13
My fav: PMs that don’t know what to do, so they send random reminder emails. Thanks, but Google calendar is cheaper than your salary.

2014-12-08 02:52:48
My awesome gift from my work secret Santa for day 1! Well chosen! http://t.co/UvblGOfQWi

2014-12-08 15:31:15
Ugh, rain? I want snow!

2014-12-09 02:12:10
A fascination diversity lesson/simulation using polygons. Very interesting! http://t.co/pZGNwG1pxn

2014-12-09 03:05:03
QOTD: “Listen, everybody’s getting fucked in the ass here. Here’s your dick!” –Marshel

2014-12-09 03:06:30
Day 2…Secret Santa kills it again! Lego minifig and a secret message! http://t.co/h08dUZhzGK

2014-12-09 17:47:03
So, I live in a country whose police kill without trial, agents commit heinous acts of torture, and gvmnt legislates hate. Good game ‘Merica

2014-12-10 11:28:53
Also, I live in a country where I had to select my way down to the three horrifying facts that I could fit in a tweet. Countless more exist.

2014-12-10 11:30:07
I have crazy high expectations. I must be fucking exhausting to deal with…most of my coworkers and all of my mgmt team deserve medals.

2014-12-10 12:22:17
Today’s Secret Santa gift is my new work mascot! I need a spear and a skirt! http://t.co/gOze4KpS6O

2014-12-10 12:43:42
RT @noahsussman: Sufficiently entrenched ignorance is indistinguishable from malice.

2014-12-11 02:23:46
Nothing feels as good as putting in a pair of 12+ hour days to fall still farther behind. Ugh. Also, still no snow. #2014isRuined

2014-12-11 02:29:05
Did the Calendar app for Android lose the ability to snooze reminders? I hope I’m just being impossibly dumb…

2014-12-11 12:15:23
Found hanging by the door upstairs! http://t.co/iQV8BXPgGw

2014-12-11 14:06:16
My lovely wife @aglance_ should read this. All truth! http://t.co/YplaZ19wJ6

2014-12-12 00:42:48
RT @Wolfrum: Black on Black Crime is one of those important issues for White people that somehow only comes up when a White person kills a …

2014-12-12 11:21:12
When did the noun “question” get replaced by a noun-ified “ask”, as in “That’s a good ask”. It sounds impossibly stupid.

2014-12-12 19:54:43
QOTD: Your poop doesn’t smell nearly as bad as I thought it did -@aglance_

2014-12-13 00:18:40
On one hand, I have a shitload of work to do this weekend. On the other hand, I really want to relax and play a video game.

2014-12-13 15:46:42
Why won’t my trackpad work? Why won’t my stupid, broken trackpad work? Oh, let’s turn on bluetooth… *sigh* Hello, Monday!

2014-12-15 12:27:39
Just submitted final grades, and I’m done for the fall semester. I have really missed teaching. Time to look into more of that…

2014-12-16 01:30:22
Ugh. I think I have been given the gift of the flu. Apparently rescheduling my flu shot repeatedly was a poor strategy.

2014-12-18 20:01:19
Getting an early start to my vacation by dosing myself with Nyquil and whimpering on a couch. #Victory #2014isRuined

2014-12-19 13:39:46
RT @fancysandwiches: @jer_ I favorited this because I like to watch you suffer.

2014-12-19 13:50:54
RT @Perficient: Perficient Expands #ECommerce Expertise with Acquisition of @ZeonSolutions http://t.co/XvD2eTeSry http://t.co/GJnZZhTFp3

2014-12-19 19:45:39
Zeon, our parent company, was purchased by @Perficient…we are now members of the Perficient team. #li

2014-12-19 19:47:39
After my third nap of the day, I feel pretty human. I think I will survive. @FancySanwiches will be very upset!

2014-12-19 20:03:22
The fact that I never carry cash has struck again, as I just had to panhandle for cash to see a high school production. I need to carry cash

2014-12-20 00:00:18
I love this plan! RT @goekesmi @jer_ I recommend carrying 2 dollar bills only. That way you can mess with people’s heads, and carry cash.

2014-12-20 00:49:45
As is true of most school Christmas revues, this is about equal parts adorable renditions and brutal savagings of holiday favorites!

2014-12-20 00:52:29
A high school girl singing “Santa Baby”? This is how I know I’m old now…

2014-12-20 01:51:33
The next time you want to say that sexism against women in STEM is largely a thing of the past, skim through this: http://t.co/Ez5k60Df90

2014-12-20 12:21:22
If there’s any upside, it’s that–ultimately–voting buried the most sexist questions, like bra size queries: http://t.co/6EFFV1ZkKq

2014-12-20 12:31:39
RT @pattonoswalt: “Oh no, I just realized there’s gonna be #TheInterview ‘truthers.'” — @wilw, at breakfast this morning

2014-12-20 23:23:24
I’ve been through nearly a dozen mergers or acquisitions in my career. Some tragic, some great, most neutral. You can only wait and see. #li

2014-12-21 03:17:13
So that’s where I am with this change in ownership. I assume it’s all for the best until it’s not. Worrying won’t improve the outcome. #li

2014-12-21 03:18:55
It is, in fact, my high regard for law enforcement that compels me to hold them to a higher standard RT @mamanastase http://t.co/pL3CoxB08s

2014-12-21 03:22:12
RT @maebemarbles: Remember when you were little and learning, and your teacher said it’s ok to make mistakes because that’s HOW you learn?
…

2014-12-21 21:57:49
A little excitement to start the trip off…one broken strap at 75mph. I’m grateful for over preparing!

2014-12-22 13:50:48
Tired of our lack of snow, I traveled to one of the snowiest cities in the country…and it’s in the mid-40s and raining. :(

2014-12-23 12:56:09
So, apparently, Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic is available on Android. There goes my week…

2014-12-23 13:05:56
I don’t watch football as a rule, but this CMU game has become insane in the second half. And kudos to them for going for 2!

2014-12-24 20:45:04
Cody building his Christmas AT-AT http://t.co/dvrulc4ZMU

2014-12-25 19:54:35
This is what twitter was made for. http://t.co/Y75WD1Ka5p

2014-12-28 13:09:12
I am @tehjer on Tsu. I don’t expect to do much with it, but I have to join the “land grab” in case…

2014-12-29 12:20:48
Yes, I also consider myself a feminist. I’m imperfect, and I make mistakes, but I am absolutely a feminist. http://t.co/q5Qyfkj9A1

2014-12-30 05:32:38
RT @ndh313: Applications open JANUARY 1st for our next paid Apprentice program. Find out application details by signing up to: https://t.co…

2014-12-31 13:51:19
I’m equally amused by people who believe in “10x engineers” and who believe that given equal opportunities engineers would have equal skill.

2014-12-31 13:55:49
Irony MT @nrrrdcore Learn by reading […] not by shoving your unsolicited opinions down the throats of people who aren’t asking for it.

2014-12-31 14:23:10
I’m annoyed when QA is treated like a nuisance that interferes with delivery. QA is saving you from your arrogant self. Send presents! #li

2014-12-31 14:36:55
Need a 1-hour dry cleaner in/around Livonia. Anyone have one they like?

2014-12-31 15:45:58
I don’t know why I agree to do things that involve speaking in front of people. It is always so anxiety filled. #NeverNotTerrifying

2014-12-31 16:27:41

Jer Lance

Tweets of 2014

Things I Said on Twitter in 2014

2 thoughts on “Tweets of 2014”

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