Tweets of 2013

Things I Said on Twitter in 2013

As I say each year: The year in review, in micro-blog form. This is mostly for my own reference, but, you might be bored enough to look at this as well. Who knows!

A dip from last year’s tweets to around 450 down from 570. You’re welcome Internet!

  1. Aww, 2012 is over… #2012isRuined #HappyNewYear
    2013-01-01 05:26:34
  2. Agreed! RT @BaDawnKDonk @jer_ Yes, but #2013isAwesome #AnnoyinglyHappy
    2013-01-01 14:13:57
  3. Hey all you SEs out there: we are hiring…it’s a great team and an equally great work environment. Email me if you’re looking.
    2013-01-05 14:11:30
  4. RT @OakParkGirl: If I can google your email subject line and the top result is a snopes “this is False!” page, your email privileges sho …
    2013-01-11 23:59:17
  5. That’s just good thinking! RT @UberFacts 90% of cheaters say the person they had an affair with was uglier than their partners!
    2013-01-13 18:25:30
  6. Duh?! RT @UberFacts About 9 million Americans suffer from sexual addiction! Are you one of them? Find out HERE: http://t.co/yeYY60jW
    2013-01-15 03:56:04
  7. After listening to the litany of reasons why all of a con’s problems are due to the team, I am glad I joined most of the staff in quitting
    2013-01-15 23:41:36
  8. On a different note, though, I’m super excited about this weekend’s ConFusion!
    2013-01-15 23:59:01
  9. The Naked Comedy film roast looks like it’s on Saturday at 9pm at #ConFusion so…come see that.
    2013-01-16 03:26:38
  10. To clarify on the film roast, Dawn will be filling in for Greg, a chair will be filling in for Dawn, and I will fill in for a chair.
    2013-01-16 03:26:39
  11. The con hasn’t even started yet, we are camping in the bar. #ConFusion #MyRelaxaCon
    2013-01-17 22:41:39
  12. I’m ridiculously lame. It’s 1030 and I’m already in bed. #ConFusion #OldAge
    2013-01-18 03:56:36
  13. Time for a shower, then I need some breakfast. 845, hotel restaurant, all are welcome. Except you; you know who you are! #ConFusion
    2013-01-18 13:41:46
  14. Did the @ConfusionMI twitter feed get hacked by a drunk poet? It’s like open mic night at a coffee house over there!
    2013-01-18 14:41:46
  15. True! RT @ConFusionMI @jer_ We ADORE you. You make us stronger. #Confusion13
    2013-01-18 14:52:43
  16. Not an open mic; an awesome cult! RT @ConFusionMI …our favorite time. Our most devoted acolytes, tucked sleepily in our arms. #confusion13
    2013-01-18 15:05:58
  17. Sitting and listening to about 4 different, really bright and engaging conversations…I am among my people #ConFusion13
    2013-01-18 23:27:03
  18. Nap time was a failure…time to try caffeine instead! #ConFusion13
    2013-01-19 16:42:18
  19. It has been a good con, so far. This hotel, however, is atrocious. Ridiculously loud, thin walls, slamming doors. I’ll not stay here again!
    2013-01-20 06:41:30
  20. Time, now, for breakfast. #ConFusion13
    2013-01-20 13:26:23
  21. Yes, she is chained to the railing. #ConFusion13 #NotHotelLiaison http://t.co/OIeLnUnO
    2013-01-20 18:56:22
  22. I’m immortal! RT @UberFacts On average, people who masturbate more tend to live longer and healthier lives!
    2013-01-21 13:27:06
  23. I signed all the BN stock in Livonia! #helping RT @scalzi Dear Twitter: the entire Scalzi stock at @vromans in Pasadena is now signed. BY ME
    2013-01-23 00:32:44
  24. QOTD: “I have high standards for my fake people” -@ellalthea
    2013-01-24 12:11:36
  25. No way, holding her down must burn way more calories! RT @UberFacts While kissing for one minute, both partners burn about 2.6 calories.
    2013-01-26 15:27:47
  26. My premature ejaculation must be worth double that… RT @UberFacts While kissing for one minute, both partners burn about 2.6 calories.
    2013-01-26 15:28:35
  27. Brilliant idea of the day: An eBook of my poop-related stories, organized by Bristol Stool categories!!! I might have to do this!
    2013-01-26 21:56:20
  28. My wife has no bladder, her urine comes out every 3 mins on trips RT @UberFacts Birds have no bladder. Their urine comes out in their poop.
    2013-01-31 11:11:13
  29. Your move, birds!
    2013-01-31 11:11:51
  30. I’m now the owner of a Pinterest…I have made a board called ‘Platitudes’ in which I’m pinning platitudes. I love the word ‘platitudes’…
    2013-02-01 02:26:47
  31. One of my many stat annoyances! RT @ZachWeiner If unemployment changes within the margin of error, it’s not a rise.
    2013-02-02 15:42:02
  32. New game: take a shot for every excuse in the ConChair’s email, drink water for each excuse-free paragraph. You’ll die drunk and dehydrated.
    2013-02-02 23:50:54
  33. Weird…so far today is just like yesterday.
    2013-02-03 14:11:32
  34. My “5 people I can cheat on my wife with” consists entirely of Alicia Silverstone in the 90s and Heather Graham 4 times…
    2013-02-03 16:55:01
  35. (Turns out I’m not allowed to use people I know…otherwise it would be several of y’all)
    2013-02-03 16:55:38
  36. RT @UberFacts: Parents can hire a clown to creepily stalk their kids for 7 days until the clown throws a cake in their face. http://t.co
    2013-02-13 01:31:34
  37. Top 5 drunk for her, I suspect… RT @Ellalthea Strippers! I an dunk! Yay!
    2013-02-16 05:20:34
  38. Had a great time celebrating Valentines Day in a non-traditional way…but I suspect that @ellalthea is going to pay dearly for it #Hangover
    2013-02-16 12:14:29
  39. Oh poor wife, dealing with a very rough booze flu. Reminds me of @Sheryl67 at a certain ConStruct…
    2013-02-16 15:56:22
  40. RT @rainnwilson: RT @DamienFahey Someone bought the website for Guy Fieri’s restaurant and made a “menu” and it’s hilarious: http://t.co
    2013-02-21 11:19:20
  41. 13/14 are liars! RT @UberFacts 1 in 14 Americans claim they would murder someone for 3 million dollars.
    2013-02-22 12:59:50
  42. Lifestyle choice…amIright? RT @UberFacts Giraffes, penguins and lions have all homosexual tendencies! Learn more: http://t.co/xcM0Y3QUKW
    2013-03-02 03:37:49
  43. Thefuck!? RT @UberFacts Male llamas have a separate set of “fighting teeth” They are used to attack and bite the testicles off other males.
    2013-03-06 14:26:03
  44. Woody Harrelson! RT @thetart Gun Machine. Jennifer Lawrence for Scarlotta. I’m stuck on Bat.
    2013-03-08 11:04:49
  45. If you’re in the mood to read first world problems whined about by entitled twats, read any thread about trying to get Google I/O tickets.
    2013-03-17 14:14:15
  46. Lmfao! Homosexuals are mammals that lady eggs. This is awesome… http://t.co/IDR3kuXGBG
    2013-03-31 21:56:28
  47. RT @jprodgers: Some good points on this list about depression: http://t.co/yPWRYqdD88
    2013-04-09 22:45:38
  48. You misspelled ‘crotch’ RT @RumblyPlacenta Sitting by the fire with my crochet. :-) @Penguicon
    2013-04-26 17:17:18
  49. QOTD: “I have been bit in the forearm by his butt-cannon before!” -@jrrparker
    2013-04-27 02:14:29
  50. QOTD: “I would just give you my boobs, then we can just go from there” -@ellalthea to @RumblyPlacenta
    2013-04-27 07:41:30
  51. Also, I know you think you are being witty and cute…but you aren’t. Dickbags… Seriously.
    2013-04-29 20:18:40
  52. Asthmatically wheezing while drenched in sweat will do that for us RT @UberFacts On average, fat men last longer in bed than skinny men.
    2013-05-04 03:16:01
  53. I have a snapchat now. No idea what it’s for, but I have one. Can’t you just sms pics to people?
    2013-05-07 01:56:21
  54. So seriously, let me piss in your mouth… RT @UberFacts When you pee, a small amount of urine enters your mouth through the saliva glands.
    2013-05-13 09:11:50
  55. See I help people! RT @BrandonBlott Special thanks to @jer_ for helping my get through my day by leaving that monster in my fridge…
    2013-05-21 23:41:49
  56. Everything important about the Internet on one page… RT @pussoir @jer_ https://t.co/5JT4IroNsd #exactly
    2013-05-22 07:07:25
  57. RT @aglance_: @jer_ and I just came to the conclusion that we only dislike waiting for the check when it cuts into pants-less time.
    2013-05-27 23:13:34
  58. RT @aglance_: @jer_ “we each love the other about most of the way to Baskin Robbins.” – in response to me trying to convince him to take me…
    2013-05-30 22:53:38
  59. RT @eacarlson: If you’re a woman in technology in the #Detroit area & want to volunteer 1 hour of your time this summer to something awesom…
    2013-06-09 09:58:42
  60. So I have maintained a ‘personal’ and ‘professional’ Web presence for years. 2 blogs, 2 twitters, 2 FBs. I’m thinking of going back to 1.
    2013-06-22 07:49:24
  61. There’s precious little reason for the split anymore. The practical upshot is that I’d have to be *slightly* more circumspect here. Slightly
    2013-06-22 07:50:46
  62. Man of Steel: I enjoyed it. The story was engaging, action was well done. The treatment of women was impressive and welcome. I’d see another
    2013-06-23 12:46:52
  63. Today starts what is likely to be a really weird week; my last with a group that I’ve spent 50-80h/wk with for a year. Oh, and stupid busy!
    2013-06-24 10:52:02
  64. I’m never so disappointed as when people that I consider to be intelligent have the most base, bigoted views.
    2013-06-25 11:45:41
  65. Slowly but surely, I’m chipping away at the monumental pile of things that must get done this last week at work. #AlmostCaughtUp
    2013-06-26 10:26:07
  66. I don’t think there’s going to be a ConStruct this year. In sure I’ll have energy enough next year, but for now, I think it’s a skip year
    2013-06-26 10:29:14
  67. If that child is a monster! RT @UberFacts A small child can swim through the veins of a blue whale.
    2013-06-27 02:01:44
  68. How dehydrated am I? On a scale from 1 to “clinging to life in the Sahara desert” I’m like a…4 maybe? I’m not really sure what that means.
    2013-06-27 06:39:47
  69. On a scale from 1 to that last tweet, I’m “very bad at numeric scales”. I’m also very tired and very awake. And thirsty. And whiney.
    2013-06-27 06:41:36
  70. A year of 4 to 6 hours of sleep per night means that going to bed early results in a 230am wakeup. Clever trick, self. I’ll remember this!
    2013-06-28 06:45:19
  71. Today marked the end to my adventure with ePrize–bittersweet and busy to the end. My last code commit was 5 minutes before I left. :)
    2013-06-29 04:13:48
  72. Best of luck to all of my friends, I’ll think of you all often as I start my next escapade. Someone flip a desk for me!
    (?ďż˝?ďż˝??? ???
    2013-06-29 04:16:34
  73. It’s wedding time! Well….it’s driving-to-a-wedding time!
    2013-06-29 15:10:46
  74. I promise there will be more posty-ness tomorrow, but for now I’ll just say that day 1 was a great success…but I need a nap! :)
    2013-07-02 00:25:05
  75. I adore my set of these glasses. RT @OakParkGirl Darn it, again?! :) I love these glasses from @BaDawnKDonk http://t.co/0ceQlX4CW1
    2013-07-02 01:52:16
  76. Leaving for work over a hour after I used to be at work feels positively decadent.
    2013-07-03 12:32:33
  77. What’s this? Daylight on both ends of my workday? Crazy talk, I tell you! :)
    2013-07-03 21:35:11
  78. One of the coolest parts about not working a million hours per week? I can code for fun again! #FirstNerdProblems
    2013-07-04 19:55:35
  79. For example, I’ve been wanting to whip together a lightweight REST service for my web apps. Today I did just that http://t.co/GefhBQuciw
    2013-07-04 19:56:52
  80. Canoe atop the jeep at highway speeds equals a loss of about 2mpg. Worth it!
    2013-07-06 13:27:05
  81. Waking to the sound of an electronic duck being repeatedly murdered in the hall outside my room is not amazing. I’m told is a fire alarm?
    2013-07-08 08:45:08
  82. Remember that time I was all like “wouldn’t it be funny to be in a hotel while the fire alarm went off for a half hour”…? I was incorrect.
    2013-07-08 09:01:43
  83. Fire alarm finally stopped. I’m pretty sure I’m up for the night now…
    2013-07-08 09:08:11
  84. 3 kayaks, a 3-person canoe, and an imitation zodiac…I don’t know if we have enough boats. http://t.co/j2BgZwUzfj
    2013-07-08 16:35:06
  85. Our “cabin” for the week. Right off the lake though… http://t.co/rpdeBMsZBS
    2013-07-09 00:44:59
  86. Had a moderately harrowing whitewater tubing trip down the Salmon river today. It was a blast, but panic-inducing for several.
    2013-07-10 01:13:05
  87. QOTD: “Of course your mom was a bit shaken up, she could have lost her favorite daughter-in-law!” -@aglance_
    2013-07-10 01:13:35
  88. Great article summarizing many of the problems I have with the “Women Don’t Ask” explanation for pay disparity. http://t.co/1fqb3Xttwg
    2013-07-10 13:53:19
  89. Yeah, this! RT @alanstorm … heavy namespace use almost requires an IDE, and I’m biased against that heavy a tool. #damnedkids
    2013-07-10 23:25:42
  90. Listen, pro designers, I get why you dislike spec work. Shitting on contests designed to engage fans is entitled assholery. Stop it.
    2013-07-10 23:32:12
  91. A band poster contest is engaging fans. If you can’t differentiate, between that and “do this for exposure” don’t freelance, you’re a moron.
    2013-07-10 23:35:31
  92. For the first time, no US schools finished in the top 10 of the ACM ICPC. I assume it’s because I didn’t compete.
    2013-07-11 11:51:37
  93. Getting around for today’s whitewater trip. Of course, my back is still killing me from Tuesday’s trip, so this should be interesting!
    2013-07-11 12:42:56
  94. Just got back from our whitewater trip. Kids are passed out, wife is very bruised. Class III/IV rapids are a hell of a lot of fun! #NapTime
    2013-07-11 22:09:13
  95. Photos from the river are slowly uploading. If you’re ever in the Adirondacks, ARO is fantastic. My 2nd time with em http://t.co/e9dCcZbi59
    2013-07-11 22:12:58
  96. Hah..agreed. It’s nice to do things again that aren’t solely work. RT @jamesdotgamble: @jer_ It’s weird to see you have hobbies again.
    2013-07-11 22:18:06
  97. Okay, finally uploaded photos from the trip. http://t.co/GrP7fXEIcx @aglance_’s bruises are brutal!
    2013-07-12 01:29:26
  98. When did farms become fiefdoms, and farmers serfs? http://t.co/rM3cAgfwr0 (courtesy of @jefflundberg)
    2013-07-12 14:12:16
  99. At sunset, @aglance_ went to try out one of the kayaks. http://t.co/QqA0tZFswh
    2013-07-13 01:43:41
  100. Little Feat, The Shins, Dinosaur Jr., Sponge… My travel music is all over the place!
    2013-07-13 15:19:35
  101. At 80mph, a bee bounced off my wife and landed in her lap. I think it was more traumatized than she. I don’t think she wants a jeep anymore
    2013-07-13 15:52:29
  102. Ya know, when it’s not saturated with ticket-happy police and endless construction, Ohio is kind of nice to drive through.
    2013-07-13 18:04:04
  103. Zimmerman was found not guilty? Are you shitting me? How much more guilty could you be? I hate the world today.
    2013-07-14 04:31:25
  104. Home, unloaded, installed more RAM in the laptop, and now it’s time for bed. I am sunburned, sore, tired, and happy. Great vacation!
    2013-07-14 04:58:52
  105. If you texted, emailed, or called in the last week…I’ll be catching up on messages this week. I was mostly out of contact last week.
    2013-07-14 05:00:48
  106. I do appreciate people flagging themselves as ignorant and/or racist today with “get over it” messages on social media re: Zimmerman
    2013-07-14 10:23:59
  107. To clarify, I don’t feel that agreeing with the Zimmerman verdict is necessarily ignorant or racist. Saying “stop discussing it” is.
    2013-07-14 10:41:31
  108. So nice to be back at Cassell’s for breakfast. I’m now old, because routine is comforting not grating…
    2013-07-14 12:17:49
  109. Okay, what the hell are these cards I keep getting on Steam? Also, can they just cash my paycheck, since it’s all going to them?
    2013-07-14 13:13:46
  110. Excellent metaphor: sports as a metaphor for polyamory… http://t.co/4NE8QKhVTE
    2013-07-14 14:52:42
  111. Today will be the first day I have worn shoes in over a week. I need to find a shoeless office!
    2013-07-15 11:06:52
  112. Hey, if anybody needs 2 x 2G sticks or stock Macbook Pro RAM, it’s free to a good home.
    2013-07-15 18:02:42
  113. I am doing a terrible job of sliding back into pomodoro work units after a year of “all-work-nonstop-don’t-take-breaks” #MakeBreaksMandatory
    2013-07-15 19:52:28
  114. Top down, traffic jam, time for huge drops of water to plummet from the sky.
    2013-07-15 21:04:13
  115. Let it never be said that I am a) appropriate b) adult or c) a good person. I fail all of these notions daily. I do amuse myself though!
    2013-07-16 01:02:01
  116. RT @Moochava: Yearly reminder: unless you’re over 60, you weren’t promised flying cars. You were promised an oppressive cyberpunk dystopia.…
    2013-07-16 01:39:28
  117. For @aglance_ : http://t.co/Hqrd8LQhTT
    2013-07-16 02:17:13
  118. Oh coffee, I love you so much…if I could I would sex you up good!
    2013-07-17 11:53:38
  119. Unrelated to my last tweet, I could use a discrete delivery of some burn ointment and clean pants…
    2013-07-17 12:01:00
  120. Oh burn ointment, I love you so much…Never mind…
    2013-07-17 12:15:55
  121. Listen, I’m all for ecology, but those motion sensitive lights in restrooms need to go. I’m currently pooping in utter darkness…
    2013-07-17 19:13:55
  122. For those concerned, it was a harrowing experience, but I made it out alive…
    2013-07-17 19:18:36
  123. The timing on this maneuver would be VERY important… RT @AsetIsis: @jer_ jump up waving your arms between pushes
    2013-07-17 19:23:22
  124. Bingo.. Problem solved! RT @pussoir @jer_ Bring a dozen beach balls in with you and periodically toss them out if the stall.
    2013-07-17 23:46:52
  125. RT @The_Word_Nerd: Note to self: If you feel like you’ve got it all in hand, you’re not doing enough. Embrace the frazz. It’s good for you.
    2013-07-18 10:04:58
  126. RT @thetart: He has to finish the books first! “@io9: Patrick Rothfuss’ Kingkiller Chronicles books are getting a TV show! http://t.co/izKX…
    2013-07-19 02:25:03
  127. That’s right storms, go nuts out there tonight and leave a nice, sunny day tomorrow for canoeing.
    2013-07-20 04:40:18
  128. Fascinating read! RT @CompSciFact Unhappy Truckers and Other Algorithmic Problems http://t.co/TX94VBytFB
    2013-07-20 12:25:46
  129. I was missing several people from my previous job…Then I saw news that reminded me that leaving was a great decision. *phew*
    2013-07-20 12:37:29
  130. Off to Kensington to drop in the canoe!
    2013-07-20 14:42:08
  131. Guess who “didn’t need” to put sunblock on his legs? Bonus points for the awesome tan line! http://t.co/BWBHgMXsq1
    2013-07-21 02:31:28
  132. Today’s trip. Just over 8mi.About 2.5 hours of paddling. Ger was a trooper throughout! http://t.co/mk1CtKfJyv
    2013-07-21 03:51:20
  133. Does anybody need a DVD player / surround-sound system? Free to a good home. Opened, never used. http://t.co/GeN1RXKnV8
    2013-07-21 12:42:06
  134. The living room electronics have been claimed. Thanks for playing, I’m sure I’ll have more stuff to offload…
    2013-07-21 15:34:05
  135. Nooo… http://t.co/B7gQrljbG0 RT @bitbucket: We’re having an issue with our load balancers at the moment. We’re working to resolve it asap.
    2013-07-22 19:45:00
  136. The @boomapp on OSX for volume fixing is very close to great…except it does NOT care for Bluetooth headphones. Many, many problems. Ugh.
    2013-07-23 18:52:57
  137. Great surprise birthday dinner. Thank you @bmfarrugi, Margaret, Scott, Chelsey, Mo, and Cory for a great evening :)
    2013-07-24 01:26:31
  138. QotD: “That was the worst part about working in cosmetics, the overpowering smell of oompa-loompa” -@aglance
    2013-07-27 14:30:16
  139. QotD: “I don’t want to free-ball an apple, it’s juicy” –@Kristina_Blott
    2013-07-27 14:47:45
  140. Chores are done, time for the kids and I to go to Maker Faire!
    2013-07-28 18:39:00
  141. Probably my second favorite thing here so far…after the tinyduino things <3 #makerfaire http://t.co/nRgzHp0YSH
    2013-07-28 19:55:48
  142. Pumpkin carving, nerd style :) http://t.co/9cCab6tPLp
    2013-07-28 19:56:47
  143. Waiting for the world’s biggest mouse trap to start… #makerfaire http://t.co/pW5D25vzCm
    2013-07-28 19:59:29
  144. Amber soldered this herself (it works, I just caught it mid-blink) #makerfaire http://t.co/72wzAnLQ1p
    2013-07-28 21:13:34
  145. Ger and I…routinely :) http://t.co/EybfrvGHRS
    2013-07-29 00:59:01
  146. RT @aglance_: Installation art/dead skin peeled from @jer_ ‘s burned shin! http://t.co/lfU2gGtASU
    2013-07-30 23:53:52
  147. If you refuse to read a book about your area of interest because you might not agree with it, you can safely assume you have a closed mind.
    2013-08-02 10:24:08
  148. This is doubly true if the book in question is by a scholar in your area of interest. More information is good, supposedly learned people…
    2013-08-02 10:25:30
  149. Even info you disagree with is valuable. Dissenting opinions and differing view are the lifeblood of learning. Homogeneity is for zealots.
    2013-08-02 10:30:43
  150. Final note: anyone expressing that NOT reading/hearing something is key to understanding has probably been lying to you for a long time.
    2013-08-02 10:34:00
  151. …and now, back to your regularly scheduled dick and fart jokes…. ;)
    2013-08-02 10:34:56
  152. Sorry for the blur, but I was laughing so hard that I couldn’t stay the cam http://t.co/0CKWpzCfAX
    2013-08-04 05:49:00
  153. The tower grows… http://t.co/5wQ4NCepQA
    2013-08-04 05:52:52
  154. …and grows… http://t.co/Uyfq8nybYO
    2013-08-04 05:56:08
  155. …and grows… http://t.co/ZDgy6VkdPx
    2013-08-04 06:27:56
  156. There’s no followup picture to this, because this is where it all fell down… http://t.co/xXEh6y16oT
    2013-08-04 06:29:11
  157. Home after a great LAN…now I’m going for just a little sleep this morning…Wish me luck!
    2013-08-04 12:25:38
  158. RT @noahsussman: I propose replacing the phrase “reducing essential complexity” with the phrase “killing werewolves.” #devops http://t.co/Y…
    2013-08-05 14:37:03
  159. “It’s not a dream if you can do it” –Seth Godin on formidable people http://t.co/eY1Os2OPxB
    2013-08-09 10:44:48
  160. Just got done performing the wedding of @coryskelly and Courtney. Congratulations you two! <3
    2013-08-10 21:36:53
  161. The newlyweds! http://t.co/47IRHH670m
    2013-08-10 21:39:21
  162. I have had an utterly crushing headache all day, and I cannot shake it. Not my favorite
    2013-08-11 23:10:58
  163. Because this photo by @bfarrugi demands a resurgence…me as a Software Engineering Wizard http://t.co/qHBBhkt1kW
    2013-08-12 02:51:55
  164. For the ladies, my friend, for the ladies! RT @jamesdotgamble @jer_ Why is there a potato shoved into the front of your pants”
    2013-08-12 02:58:49
  165. The menu looks awesome, and I’ve heard a lot of good about it… (with Geralyn at @jollypumpkin) — http://t.co/y4zRb8NAxk
    2013-08-12 22:34:46
  166. Hey, “Life Unexpected” is just a regular drama! RT @aglance_ Hmm… Who showed my husband the teen drama section of Netflix?
    2013-08-14 00:22:35
  167. …oh shit… RT @UberFacts Masturbating too much can shrink your penis.
    2013-08-14 00:27:36
  168. Payday 2, you bastard, why do you take so long to download. Get here more quickly!!!! Must rob some people.
    2013-08-15 00:03:37
  169. Holy shit, I think this download just slowed down…no, I think it’s actively putting bytes back where it found them!!! Stop that!
    2013-08-15 00:25:55
  170. Next unforeseen expense? New car probably *sigh* RT @aglance_: Booo. Car kept stalling, so had to have a tow.
    2013-08-15 13:18:59
  171. I think my wife broke her car on purpose to get me to have to drive near Woodward during dream cruise season!
    2013-08-15 20:35:05
  172. Oh, how I both love and hate dealing with dealerships. I like it better when I don’t *need* a vehicle, though…
    2013-08-15 21:43:49
  173. Seconded! I’d say noon if I could pull it off RT @eacarlson: I have approximately zero interest in wearing pants after about 6 PM. #pjs4ever
    2013-08-16 01:32:47
  174. Hey, I’m working from home today, so why wouldn’t I want the first Internet outage I’ve had in a year to happen right now?
    2013-08-16 11:09:25
  175. Also @uverse, your hold music sounds like porno music…in case you’re curious.
    2013-08-16 11:11:23
  176. You might want to rethink the strategy of pointing customers to your website while on hold for Internet outage @uverse. #infuriating
    2013-08-16 11:23:29
  177. “Having trouble with your Internet? Sit for 10m listening to smooth jazz and reminders of how great it is for those that have it” -@uverse
    2013-08-16 11:26:00
  178. I quit watching Caroline’s Comedy Hour in the 80s because of the shitty intro jazz that you’ve been looping in my ear over here @uverse!
    2013-08-16 11:27:57
  179. “if you need instructions, you can go to http://t.co/jnqPJUdrX6″ -@uverse… *quiet sobbing* -me
    2013-08-16 11:31:38
  180. “Use paperless billing. It’s easy, just *insert 50 steps here*” -@uverse
    2013-08-16 11:36:16
  181. 2 calls and just short of 40 minutes later…there’s an outage in my area…That was listed on the website…
    2013-08-16 11:52:01
  182. Ridiculously powerful. If you consider yourself religious, but have an issue with homosexuality…read: http://t.co/5yTBbCWd3f
    2013-08-17 05:46:06
  183. Time to go canoeing on this gorgeous day!
    2013-08-17 18:28:23
  184. The end of today’s adventure, or as I like to call it, the #HuronDreamCruise http://t.co/AZvYyXVyvt
    2013-08-17 23:26:22
  185. Tomorrow, we’ll be going again. Somewhere around noon, Wixom road. Canoe/kayak rental is <$50…a nice, slow, easy 6mi paddle.
    2013-08-17 23:37:20
  186. RT @therealmix: What do rap artist do during down time? I’m whippin up a simple meter circuit for a project.… http://t.co/jOWmGBrIPU
    2013-08-20 10:24:27
  187. More NSA/Big Brother fallout…Groklaw is no more: http://t.co/0rcvkoaqKH
    Comparisons
    to the start of other totalitarian regimes are apt.
    2013-08-20 23:12:37
  188. Numbers 1, 8, 14, and 16 really hit home hard (surprise, I hate being called!)…Only 7, 12, and 21 didn’t ring true http://t.co/If6GH1ZbOM
    2013-08-21 14:49:47
  189. My all-around good day has been bolstered by good news on the job front! #VagueTweeting #MoreWillBeRevealed
    2013-08-21 19:39:52
  190. They just explained that it was a nice way of saying ‘fired’…*SOB* RT @jamesdotgamble: @jer_ You got promoted… to customer.
    2013-08-21 20:01:29
  191. I’m a loner, Dottie…a rebel…
    2013-08-22 10:35:45
  192. My wife has never seen Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure…words cannot express my disappointment…
    2013-08-22 10:46:15
  193. Ger was underwhelmed by the Jeeps in her price range…checking out a Ford Focus now. Kind of a fun little car!
    2013-08-22 23:02:28
  194. Ger really liked the Focus…And they’re stupid-cheap…I’ll take one!
    2013-08-23 00:51:40
  195. Signing the infinity papers involved in buying a car… So many papers!
    2013-08-23 21:00:39
  196. Ger’s pretty, new, yet to be named Focus…she seems very happy, so I’m happy :) http://t.co/RgJNbmBuiG
    2013-08-23 22:40:09
  197. As for the good news I alluded to earlier this week…I’ve accepted a promotion at work and am now a Technical Lead / Team Lead.
    2013-08-24 03:54:44
  198. Interesting article about a twice-per-night sleep pattern. I’ve often toyed with the idea of finding a better pattern http://t.co/s3yecMZf2K
    2013-08-24 15:29:29
  199. It’s such a gorgeous day outside, I should go ou…oh, I’m just going to play video games all day!
    2013-08-24 16:15:14
  200. Hey Chesley RT @SlaunchaMan Do you make iOS or Android apps? Or are you a dev who wants to make the jump to mobile? @DetroitLabs is hiring.
    2013-08-25 12:24:33
  201. I’m having a hard time getting upset about this ‘Lulu’ app where women can rate men. Guys do it overtly all the time; now it’s time to cry?
    2013-08-25 17:47:44
  202. Of course, I say this before I’ve really looked at it. I don’t know if it’s particularly vicious, mean, or has rated me poorly yet ;P
    2013-08-25 17:49:14
  203. Oooooh…you have to be a female on Facebook to see your score…now I get it. Guys are whining because they don’t know their scores!
    2013-08-25 17:52:58
  204. It’s hard to derive context, but this appears to be unwarranted police brutality in Lincoln Park, MI. http://t.co/pQ0jhzIIyz
    2013-08-25 19:37:20
  205. “I think you’ll find that ‘the universe’ pretty much covers everything”…”Shut up woman, get on my horse”
    2013-08-27 02:03:41
  206. RT @ChuckWendig: I said some stuff about male feminism and the privilege found at the top of Heteronormative White Dude Mountain: http://t.…
    2013-08-27 10:59:52
  207. Current weather: gentle rain with a 100% chance of 20mph speeds on a 70mph highway…when not totally stopped that is. #MotorCityProblems
    2013-08-27 12:11:52
  208. Yesterday our 20mph speeds were blamed on heavy rain. I can only assume today’s, then, is the recollection of rain? The MEMORY of moistness?
    2013-08-28 12:41:04
  209. RT @noahsussman: Code drunk, deploy sober. —Hemingway
    2013-08-28 15:52:38
  210. I fear my plumbing! RT @FastCompany: “People will always shit on the things they’re scared of.” http://t.co/1LLyqMa8Cm
    2013-08-28 15:55:14
  211. Sometimes, you advise as much as you can, then you’re forced to sit back and hope like hell you’re proven wrong. *sigh*
    2013-08-29 21:44:06
  212. Oh shit…package from Dawn…such fear! Such terror. Such a desire to soak it in spider poison. Is there spider poison?
    2013-08-29 22:11:34
  213. Shit, might be asps, torching the place to be sure! RT @OakParkGirl @jer_ it’s cute that you think it is JUST a box of spiders :)
    2013-08-29 22:58:40
  214. I need to make a will now. I’m going to need a lawyer I’m guessing… http://t.co/FeSDmoZ5MF
    2013-09-01 20:16:47
  215. Just trimmed many people from my reading lists on social media. I’m enjoying reading it again. If you complain oftener than not, be funny.
    2013-09-03 02:44:18
  216. It’s not that you shouldn’t complain on social media, or even that you shouldn’t often…but I prefer not to read incessant negativity.
    2013-09-03 02:46:18
  217. Final note: to me, a good, amusing rant isn’t negativity–it makes me laugh. Your mileage may vary; curate your social media accordingly.
    2013-09-03 02:47:39
  218. Explains why he won’t return my calls… RT @UberFacts According to the Bible, Satan’s number is actually “616” not “666”.
    2013-09-03 02:52:49
  219. QOTD: “I should watch more TED talks, or at least the opening graphic…that was cool” -@aglance_
    2013-09-04 10:52:45
  220. If you’re new to Git (or not new to Git but interested in learning more) this is a great learning interface! http://t.co/IkdQBgM3To
    2013-09-04 17:27:46
  221. I have always loved her, and I love her even more now. Alyssa Milano’s sex tape: http://t.co/MKqkGQ6SE9
    2013-09-04 17:31:18
  222. Ditto RT @tobiasbuckell Am taking @MaryRobinette ’s survey on diversity in reading: https://t.co/eQ8GpERRwb
    2013-09-05 03:38:41
  223. Thanks to insomnia, tomorrow will run on nothing but caffeine and willpower…well, mostly caffeine…dangerous quantities of caffeine.
    2013-09-05 06:25:14
  224. Yeah, it’s going to be one of those days… http://t.co/StgnMQXygm
    2013-09-05 13:15:10
  225. I don’t use Google Tasks, so I’ve no idea how long it’s been like this, but I laughed until I cried… http://t.co/bpOVPog5HY
    2013-09-05 14:26:30
  226. I’m laughing so hard I can’t breathe over here… http://t.co/pTSDGua0NM
    2013-09-05 22:30:55
  227. I do not mind a 140 mile commute to work today. I am distressed that I am wearing long pants. My priorities are weird.
    2013-09-06 12:40:36
  228. …also, a shirt with buttons. Ew. Is this what being a grown-up is like? #NoThankYou
    2013-09-06 12:43:16
  229. You said: “I gave you two extra [espresso] shots, sweetie”; what you meant: “No charge for the heart attack, big guy”…#ThankYou #Jittery
    2013-09-06 21:27:20
  230. I have clearly underestimated the drawing power of a Grand Rapids Logan’s. This is apparently the place to be on a Friday evening.
    2013-09-06 23:12:50
  231. It bums me out that we are in such a sound-byte culture that even with limitless resources we can’t be bothered to research shit.
    2013-09-07 06:18:42
  232. Everyone just shares/retweets/reposts hoaxes, lies, and idiocy without spending 60 seconds to educate themselves.
    2013-09-07 06:20:13
  233. Ostensibly, the logic seems to be “this reinforces my existing belief structure, therefore it must be true”. Horrifying logic…
    2013-09-07 06:21:22
  234. My rule of thumb is this: be more skeptical and quicker to research things you tend to agree with than those you don’t. You’ll be smarter.
    2013-09-07 06:46:21
  235. .@g33klady lame? Able-ist?
    2013-09-07 13:07:18
  236. Never thought of that, but true… RT @MrAlanCooper “When we call something intuitive, we often mean familiar”–Esther Dyson
    2013-09-08 16:46:26
  237. Was today the Super Bowl or something? Did our team win? (j/k, I know it wasn’t…I love football! Go Mets!)
    2013-09-09 03:08:32
  238. Cookie clicker is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of. What an idiotic waste of time! (currently generating 1.7 mill. cookies per second)
    2013-09-09 03:10:39
  239. It’s been fun…this, not being able to sleep thing…but I’m over it now. (I’m also over 10mill cookies per second… #CookieClicker)
    2013-09-09 07:04:07
  240. In my body’s defense, I’m fairly certain that tonight’s insomnia is from me failing to notice that it was 9pm when I had that Monster.
    2013-09-09 07:10:29
  241. Wait, George Zimmerman threatened his wife with a gun? That’s strangely out of character for him (since, you know, she’s alive afterward).
    2013-09-09 19:43:53
  242. It’s scary that a mild mannered family man like Zimmerman could become a violent sociopath with no warning. #WhoCouldHaveSeenThatComing?
    2013-09-09 19:45:28
  243. Maybe I’m weird (maybe?) but I love talking to chat bots. I love trying to figure out which keyword prompted the response choice given.
    2013-09-10 00:01:22
  244. It’s a lot of work to make a safe space for women in tech; I’d like to think I succeed somewhat. This is why I try: http://t.co/AjZpPEkQvU
    2013-09-10 15:07:10
  245. RT @dylan20: I’ve updated the iPhone fingerprint scanner diagram with an important detail Apple left out. http://t.co/k63flx8y6j
    2013-09-11 10:49:30
  246. This is a fantastic resource! http://t.co/E7QUWBpBz6 Resources for training/outreach/etc for women in STEM. Awesome.
    2013-09-11 14:49:57
  247. What do you see here… #IsThatA… http://t.co/qJouhqCUh9
    2013-09-11 16:33:37
  248. …Does this help? http://t.co/Z7hW9sHd9b
    2013-09-11 16:47:01
  249. Now that my schedule has slowed down to “rational” I’m perpetually tired. It’s almost like I’m recovering from 6+ years of sleep debt.
    2013-09-11 20:27:57
  250. My Pebble is here! http://t.co/wSHTWbPLSn
    2013-09-11 22:25:33
  251. RT @noahsussman: how to blog about code and give zero fucks (via Instapaper) this is required reading! http://t.co/CHSygpVsEW
    2013-09-13 01:02:02
  252. RT @tef: how to learn to code in one tweet
    copy other people’s code
    change things and see what happens
    keep going and eventually others wil…
    2013-09-13 13:05:33
  253. The previous is literally how I learned to code; copying BASIC out of a magazine, then endless tweaking. Today I do the same from Github.
    2013-09-13 13:07:02
  254. Business as usual on my social media… http://t.co/asuibWZfJM
    2013-09-13 13:14:34
  255. RT @caseyjohnston: This is just adorable. RT @Huth Fox news attempts to explain what Github is http://t.co/4XVwwZIgas
    2013-09-13 20:12:41
  256. If you could control somebody’s attention, what would you do with it? Awesome TED talk from a pickpocket. http://t.co/EW2ljzOmFm
    2013-09-14 11:30:46
  257. So, a group of us are going to marathon game for Chlidren’s Miracle Network. That’s a thing that’ll happen: http://t.co/eP69TX8Lag
    2013-09-14 21:03:59
  258. RT @TheJamieLee: Ppl who call it Fall enjoy crisp air. Ppl who call it Autumn bathe in canned pumpkin & are constantly searching for meanin…
    2013-09-14 22:50:18
  259. Hey kaitlynrcrawford I think I found a rope ladder you can beat! http://t.co/unIqpHvKsw
    2013-09-15 20:46:23
  260. Wait, Miss America is a U of M grad from Syracuse, NY? Umm…guys…I think I’m Miss America…
    2013-09-16 10:12:13
  261. *princess wave*
    2013-09-16 12:08:13
  262. Hrmm, apparently my last two big social media cleanups worked. I didn’t see one, single racist comment about Miss America today. #Winning
    2013-09-17 01:35:14
  263. Off to get an epidural again. Panic begins in 3..2..oh, never mind, I’m already there! Bleh.
    2013-09-17 11:18:40
  264. My phobic reaction to ‘needles in my spine’ continues to make a no big deal experience not fun, but it’s over again.
    2013-09-17 12:50:58
  265. RT @premzi: #AgilePrague The *real* problem is that “Software Development” is less like Manufacturing and more like Research & Development.
    2013-09-17 12:57:57
  266. Just got new running shoes that are so ugly they’re awesome. In bright orange to boot. I pretty much only shop at Woot. I have a problem!
    2013-09-17 20:05:45
  267. Says many things. Many, many things. #SixWordMemoires @sixwords
    2013-09-18 03:31:54
  268. Let’s shoot each other some love, thanks NRA! http://t.co/iXFxno8JDf
    2013-09-18 10:46:23
  269. Let’s shoot each other some love! Thanks NRA! (corrected link?)
    http://t.co/XeBnQJrWgv
    2013-09-18 11:22:39
  270. My very orange shoes… http://t.co/bZ5pwVDAFf
    2013-09-18 12:08:46
  271. Was dumb, then less dumb, repeat… @sixwords #SixWordMemoirs
    2013-09-18 12:31:00
  272. I’m never so scared as when a package that I did not expect arrives for me… Dread!
    2013-09-20 00:09:35
  273. Jesus Christ… @digitaldawn has me terrified of packages I ordered days ago and forgot about. She’s like an evil wizard.
    2013-09-20 00:13:24
  274. A shitload of beefalo. It’s grilling time! http://t.co/HMo5ZOlpwt
    2013-09-20 00:20:19
  275. Wow. If you manage people at an office give this a look RT @noahsussman: The Furniture Police (1987) http://t.co/pTyIx0DeXW #devops #culture
    2013-09-20 01:44:34
  276. How have I never heard of this “10x Engineer” nonsense…And why does it sound like the nerd version of Axe wearing douchester-ism?
    2013-09-20 11:44:02
  277. It’s a pretty dreary day, which means I think I’ll feel not even slightly bad about spending most of it playing video games…
    2013-09-21 12:31:00
  278. Gaming must happen, but first, Cassell’s for breakfast…
    2013-09-21 14:06:48
  279. Chelsey! MT @solidstatenate Putting together a two week program for non-mobile coders who join @DetroitLabs. You could help beta test it.
    2013-09-22 04:53:04
  280. Very nerdy weekend: played the Star Wars: Edge of the Empire RPG on Friday, yesterday played Lords of Water deep for the 1st time…
    2013-09-22 13:35:15
  281. On safe spaces for women in tech, and men’s roles in creating them (spoiler: we should have a big role) http://t.co/fOFnZehpqO
    2013-09-22 23:47:29
  282. Camping gear had been gone through, replacements for a few things ordered, and we are pretty much ready to go. Is it next weekend yet?
    2013-09-23 04:31:45
  283. Today is the day that I’m going to get all caught up. I can feel it. Stop laughing, it could happen! I could happen, right? Right!?
    2013-09-24 10:40:33
  284. RT @ZachWeiner: If current trends continue, some day there will be 1 murder on earth per year, and it will be covered by 4,000 news network…
    2013-09-24 15:59:24
  285. Ain’t no headache like this sinus headache, cuz this sinus headache won’t stop! #SkullSplosion
    2013-09-25 11:39:31
  286. Seriously, people, nobody thought it was worthwhile to point out that when I talk, I gesticulate like C3P0? Really? #Brutal
    2013-09-25 15:03:21
  287. Listening to the IT in the D podcast…great podcast, but holy shit, if you ask a question stop interrupting the answer. #PetPeeves
    2013-09-26 11:26:19
  288. Hi Dan!
    2013-09-26 13:20:59
  289. Valvoline Oil Change does great, but I’m convinced that they don’t do many 4×4 tire rotations. My tires might be back where they started :)
    2013-09-26 22:27:32
  290. After years of taunting her with it, @aglance_ has finally been to the Chocolate Garden…Next stop, Chicago!
    2013-09-27 16:31:03
  291. And now we’re done with Chicago. On to Wisconsin, and a 2 day electronics fast. See yall Monday!
    2013-09-27 21:48:49
  292. Back from camping, showered, and ready to enjoy my own bed…But honestly, I could use about 2 or 3 more days. Very relaxing.
    2013-09-30 03:03:29
  293. Hey rain, my plan was to spend today cleaning up the tent and gear…But because of you, I’ll just have to play video games all day…
    2013-09-30 13:11:04
  294. Remember: each day of government shutdown is one day that old white men aren’t legislating wombs or marriages. Can I get an extension?
    2013-10-01 11:24:04
  295. Who has two thumbs and forgot to pull the canoe off his car yesterday? This guy! #BringYourCanoeToWorkDay
    2013-10-01 11:54:18
  296. Long day. Long, long, long day. Predictions of doom and tragedy do nothing to make it suck less when it turns out you’re right.
    2013-10-02 01:42:34
  297. Kudos to Marvel for this initiative to introduce girls to STEM-employed female mentors. Awesome idea! http://t.co/OCj9cJlOHv
    2013-10-02 01:48:13
  298. Wish I could have done #TEDxDetroit this year. It’s been awesome the last couple of years. Alas, work did not allow. Next year, next year!
    2013-10-03 00:03:42
  299. So, those confused by the rhetoric around the government shutdown, here’s Fox News’ take. http://t.co/OsBOMOqzy9 It’s worth a read.
    2013-10-03 00:49:18
  300. Saving Private Ryan Gosling #AddAWordRuinAMovie
    2013-10-05 11:28:48
  301. Machete Cuddles #AddAWordRuinAMovie
    2013-10-05 11:31:00
  302. Highlander 2 #AddAWordRuinAMovie (there’s no way I’m first to that one)
    2013-10-05 11:33:05
  303. Potty Training Day #AddAWordRuinAMovie
    2013-10-05 11:35:17
  304. More like #AddAWordImproveAMovie! RT @jamesdotgamble @jer_ Lord of the Nipple Rings #AddAWordRuinAMovie
    2013-10-05 12:50:52
  305. With some members of team Light Recoil putting together some donation goals for November 2nd’s marathon http://t.co/wExUi0Yfiy Donate!
    2013-10-07 00:44:01
  306. RT @noahsussman: OH: If I wanted to get paid for doing something I don’t think would work, then I could be billing a much higher hourly rat…
    2013-10-07 12:56:02
  307. I defy you to listen to Bob Seger’s “Roll Me Away” on the way to work and not have to fight to get off at your exit… #SimplifySimplify
    2013-10-07 12:57:05
  308. Just found the @ITintheD podcast. Delighted to hear one of my favorite developers @eacarlson getting much love. Small world :)
    2013-10-07 21:41:33
  309. RT @noahsussman: The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of meeting the schedule has been forgotten. —Karl Wiegers …
    2013-10-08 18:17:12
  310. Thoughts on change from a drug addict…I’m sure you’ve been waiting your whole life for such a thing! http://t.co/mkadfUKG8L
    2013-10-09 11:54:24
  311. About the worst thing that can happen to a developer: 2 hours of troubleshooting, nothing changed, the problem no longer exists.
    2013-10-09 13:43:25
  312. Hah, perfect name! RT @jpbaugh: @jer_ a dreaded Heisenbug!
    2013-10-09 13:50:25
  313. My old headphones were a bit quiet. The new ones are loud…across two senses! http://t.co/Zb7kbWpXNg
    2013-10-09 17:55:04
  314. This is hilarious…Fuck You Congress: http://t.co/Xb39EBLuEv (If the name didn’t clue you in, you have to find Truth and the F-bomb funny)
    2013-10-09 20:12:50
  315. .@repkerryb You’ve reduced us to publicly saying #FuckYouCongress. http://t.co/IPIWPaaJI0 (also, you’ve lost my vote)
    2013-10-09 20:14:24
  316. Fixing up some content on the @TeamRecoil charity page… http://t.co/wExUi0Yfiy This is going to be a really entertaining time…
    2013-10-12 20:43:06
  317. RT @lightrecoil: Our current roster: @bfarrugi @scottsmereka @jsabada @7heBigBadWolf @jer_ @coryskelly … want to LAN with us? We’ll tell …
    2013-10-12 21:40:28
  318. I could go back and watch “Talking Funny” quarterly for the rest of my life. Four of the best comedians alive talking about comedy…
    2013-10-13 14:23:11
  319. “Anyone wanna get weird and play Mario Kart?” … It’s not high art, but Don’t Trust the B in Apt 23 is pretty entertaining so far.
    2013-10-13 16:34:37
  320. I’m going to go ahead and leave this right here for @jrrparker “Penny Arcade – Nomenclature” http://t.co/GkkiOE66Hn
    2013-10-14 10:51:29
  321. QOTD: “It’s like fisting a bag of boiled food” –Marshel
    2013-10-14 16:14:17
  322. At my last job, I had to plan to leave by three to be out the door by 7. Currently I claim to be leaving at 4 to be gone by 5. #Progress
    2013-10-16 02:21:31
  323. RT @scalzi: Holy geez, this is a good blog post from @MattFraction, about, you know, not killing yourself. http://t.co/GQKwY8AcFT
    2013-10-17 10:35:35
  324. Holy shit, today’s headache is crushing. It’s going to be a long day…
    2013-10-18 12:22:03
  325. Time to see if a nap will make this headache relent even a little bit…
    2013-10-18 16:04:57
  326. Hell yeah! RT @adr My wife just told me 3rd Bass reunited!!!!!!!11 Could a new version of “Gas Face” be far behind?????//
    2013-10-19 06:09:19
  327. Thug ass Nemo! RT @NemoLostForever Tryin’ to get up in some mermaid ass tonight. #TurnUp
    2013-10-19 06:28:16
  328. I kinda want to wipe my LinkedIn skills and replace them with important ones: making out, napping, story telling, child rearing, etc.
    2013-10-19 22:03:41
  329. Margaret and the kids going hayriding http://t.co/gQFfHW2ih5
    2013-10-20 00:51:10
  330. Time for the haunted asylum… OF TERROR! http://t.co/LLjo58AwwG
    2013-10-20 01:40:55
  331. There’s a car upside down on 96E near Merriman. There is a car…UPSIDE DOWN…On the freeway. You are having a better day than someone.
    2013-10-21 11:49:07
  332. The ‘sliver’ lining! RT @Kristina_Blott: @jer_ they get a new car though :-(
    2013-10-21 12:16:31
  333. RT @johnmoe: Problems with a government web site should come as no surprise to anyone who has worked in government or with web sites.
    2013-10-21 16:28:17
  334. Emperor’s New Groove on Netflix, got some writing done, and relaxing with my wife. A good night, in all :)
    2013-10-22 01:23:09
  335. Wow..I really want this travel guitar! http://t.co/8X6VsfXYO3
    2013-10-22 17:43:49
  336. Launching Lobster Gram! #LaunchDay #TooEarly http://t.co/qIpD2yTQQU
    2013-10-24 12:35:53
  337. QOTD: “It might not be stable, but it’s slow…” –a coworker
    2013-10-24 15:07:26
  338. Rat oncologists must be RICH! MT @UberFacts There are >1,000 chemicals in a cup of coffee. 26 have been tested, half cause cancer in rats.
    2013-10-25 09:03:26
  339. Getting accolades from clients for taking the best care of them you can never, ever gets old. #GreatDay :)
    2013-10-25 15:04:45
  340. Great day became markedly shittier very abruptly. Ugh.
    2013-10-25 18:25:35
  341. 2013-10-26 03:03:34
  342. If you still live with your parents or have bills paid by your parents, you might want stop bitching about lazy people on welfare.
    2013-10-27 14:04:45
  343. It should go without saying (but clearly doesn’t) if you are on any form of assistance, stop bitching about lazy welfare recipients.
    2013-10-27 14:48:55
  344. Final thought: if the previous messages offended you, consider how shitty it is of me to judge your situation knowing nothing about it…
    2013-10-27 14:55:37
  345. I was iffy, but we went to look at puppies today. In two weeks we pick up Bowser and Yoshi, our two new Bichon pups. She wins this round.
    2013-10-27 20:17:31
  346. Bowser, the larger of the two puppies coming home with us soon. http://t.co/uFAX740i8u
    2013-10-28 03:03:06
  347. Okay, last pic, I promise…Bowser on the left (in blue) and Yoshi on the right (in green) http://t.co/oTDpGvJn1T
    2013-10-28 03:15:49
  348. That’s okay jer…you weren’t busy…accidentally click “Install” on an OS update and take yourself out of commission for an hour.
    2013-10-28 13:25:46
  349. So, @aglance_ was just mistaken for Margaret Pearce’s mom. This is the best day ever!
    2013-10-28 22:37:29
  350. RT @lightrecoil: A reminder, we’re just a few short days from marathon gaming for charity. http://t.co/5rwEBMhRwy for more details!
    2013-10-29 16:00:15
  351. Any Mac users have a way of using Google Music that listens for keyboard media keys? I hate trying to find the right browser window.
    2013-10-30 12:43:06
  352. I’m not a software developer, I’m a storyteller http://t.co/1IE7tv0E2L (Now with 200% more pretension!)
    2013-10-30 16:19:09
  353. This! Godin’s law of pizza… http://t.co/qqnkdxjyyL
    2013-10-31 10:49:25
  354. I vote @bfarrugi & @coryskelly making out! MT @lightrecoil: if we hit it [$1k] before our 8am EST start, we’ll post an embarrassing video!
    2013-11-02 00:58:20
  355. RT @lightrecoil: We’re still setting up the DNS…but you can watch our streams at http://162.243.38.181/
    2013-11-02 13:24:59
  356. RT @lightrecoil: We know that the Extra Life site is down…but when it comes up, everyone that donates over $100 total gets a shirt: http:…
    2013-11-02 17:11:23
  357. Watch @coryskelly play Asshole Mario on the Punishment system! http://t.co/oIqxAB1u0M
    2013-11-02 18:38:10
  358. The Extra Life website is still down…you can still watch our streams, but donation is out of commission at the moment. Sorry!
    2013-11-02 19:04:45
  359. We’re doing the secret over vault in Payday 1…streaming on http://t.co/oIqxAB1u0M #ExtraLife
    2013-11-02 20:22:41
  360. RT @lightrecoil: It is 5:17pm EST, the person who gets the most money in donations by 6pm has to play 30m/1 level of EnviroBear http://t.co…
    2013-11-02 21:20:17
  361. The “winner” of the first punishment is @coryskelly … Enviro Bear starts streaming in a few http://t.co/oIqxAB1u0M
    2013-11-02 22:03:44
  362. If you’re not watching the punishment stream, you should be…I’m crying over here… #ExtraLife
    2013-11-02 22:09:55
  363. A great punishment session…the next will be in an hour or so. Donations cause emotional pain to us and go to a good cause! #ExtraLife
    2013-11-02 22:32:22
  364. RT @lightrecoil: Next punishment will go to the person that gets the most donations by 8PM EST. Owata, the Life Ending Game for 15m… http…
    2013-11-02 23:07:42
  365. Also, a reminder…everyone that donates a more than a total of $100 gets a free t-shirt… http://t.co/gaV5HGmXf6
    2013-11-02 23:08:56
  366. Extra-Life’s site is down…so we ‘randomly’ picked @bfarrugi to be punished. He’s currently sucking at Owata http://t.co/oIqxAB1u0M
    2013-11-03 00:20:10
  367. Now that the site’s back up…we found that @coryskelly won. For the next punishment…Surgeon Simulator with a surprise twist…
    2013-11-03 00:46:39
  368. RT @lightrecoil: Now that the site’s back up…we found that @coryskelly won. For the next punishment…Surgeon Simulator with a surprise t…
    2013-11-03 00:46:53
  369. RT @lightrecoil: Surprise twist: Cory controls the keyboard, and the highest donation recipient by 10pm gets to control the mouse for Surge…
    2013-11-03 00:48:13
  370. The Surgeon Simulator players are @bfarrugi and @coryskelly …starting in a few minutes http://t.co/oIqxAB1u0M
    2013-11-03 02:11:57
  371. RT @nadams5755: co-op surgeon simulator 2013, with one person controlling the hand and one person controlling the fingers is hilarious. #Ex…
    2013-11-03 02:50:22
  372. Next punishment will be at 1am EST…Winnie the Pooh Baseball (it’s horrifying).. @7heBigBadWolf is in the lead so far!
    2013-11-03 03:12:28
  373. And @7heBigBadWolf is currently actually doing well at Winnie the Pooh Homerun Derby! http://t.co/oIqxAB1u0M
    2013-11-03 05:11:09
  374. I had to turn on the LAN cam again because a couple of the guys are playing a horror FPS..and it’s scaring the shit out of them…hah!
    2013-11-03 06:09:56
  375. RT @lightrecoil: We are $19 away from having raised $1,500 for Beaumont Hospital…a free shirt to the donater that takes us over the edge.…
    2013-11-03 06:38:17
  376. Oh no…Steam going down is putting a damper on our marathoning fun!!!
    2013-11-03 09:48:18
  377. It’s been months…why aren’t the new Psych episodes on Netflix yet!?
    2013-11-03 17:34:36
  378. Up for 27h, raised $1,500 for charity, got a 2 hour nap, I suspect I’m going to crash hard tonight. Worth it! Thank you all who donated!
    2013-11-03 21:12:17
  379. As an introvert, this is pretty spot on! Ways to manage an introvert http://t.co/MnKmJ4KBe3
    2013-11-04 01:21:32
  380. This runs on my third display now that I sit amongst the project managers… http://t.co/aLe4pLXNSY
    2013-11-05 17:01:32
  381. Watching “The New Girl”…was anybody going to tell me that I’m Nick?
    2013-11-06 00:41:43
  382. I would be remiss if I didn’t point out…FOUR DAYS UNTIL PUPPIES! http://t.co/7yDMy3FE3a
    2013-11-06 12:21:58
  383. RT @edyong209: Fourier transforms are everywhere. @aatishb explains what they are w/ *amazing* clarity. Man, that guy’s good. http://t.co/r…
    2013-11-10 00:57:37
  384. Anybody else going to the Ann Arbor Ignite event on the 17th?
    2013-11-11 14:26:09
  385. RT @eacarlson: “Be glad that others are innocent of the suffering that you have endured. Teach them gently.” http://t.co/GK8dMCVm9r
    2013-11-11 14:58:45
  386. My new desk is down in an area which is brighter than the surface of the sun. I usually have a full-on headache by noon now. Not Good.
    2013-11-11 15:33:43
  387. Woot Moofi has a Cherry Blue switched Costar-era das Keyboard for $85 shipped. My office-mates will soon hate it when I type.
    2013-11-11 16:01:18
  388. w/r/t my bright-light headache issue…it is notable that I should probably get the glasses I so obviously need. That might help…
    2013-11-11 16:11:20
  389. Hrmm…I’m very interested in the #FailureLab concept. Just in time, it’s coming to Detroit next week… http://t.co/wQDZ2SBrX1
    2013-11-11 18:32:44
  390. Just watched Yoshi attempt to reach OVER the water bowl to get to his food, fall in, angrily bite the water bowl, THEN walk around it.
    2013-11-11 23:41:02
  391. Yoshi is so tiny…he also makes frequent little Yoshi-like noises. http://t.co/IgjRvLGfvJ
    2013-11-12 00:41:21
  392. Bowser likes to sleep on the floor. Yoshi likes to sleep on the bed…or on Bowser http://t.co/lxiVfEF5wc
    2013-11-12 02:31:31
  393. So, I no longer drink…so I need a group of people to play True American (http://t.co/VSgNEVcLrW) for my amusement. I’ll organize!!
    2013-11-13 14:51:14
  394. Homophobia is so gay (literally) MT @UberFacts: homophobia is more common among people with an unannounced attraction to the same sex.
    2013-11-13 15:08:04
  395. My former ePrize co-workers will be pleased to know that someone, somewhere in this office is currently blasting ‘The Gambler’
    2013-11-14 18:18:42
  396. Total time from “no dogs on the couch” to this? <1 week… http://t.co/gU4LXysaGM
    2013-11-16 19:11:19
  397. At #igniteA2 with @bfarrugi…I love these sort of events! http://t.co/xNiDplMS6S
    2013-11-18 00:15:18
  398. Interesting talk about about data by @jczeta (I think) Much to think about when processing data with context #igniteA2
    2013-11-18 01:48:48
  399. Correction @jczetta RT @jer_ Interesting talk about about data by @jczeta (I think) Much to think about when processing data with context
    2013-11-18 03:08:46
  400. Bowser and Yoshi are crazy cute when wrestling! http://t.co/Mwe8wwwHrP
    2013-11-18 03:20:25
  401. Before every project, I want to sit the team down to read this. Seth Godin reads my mind then says it better than I http://t.co/4omM8Lcld9
    2013-11-19 12:03:11
  402. “This is like the ending of a horror movie”…”Or the beginning of a pranking movie” #newgirl
    2013-11-21 00:07:55
  403. Two dogs, one toy… http://t.co/65FWhcxSci
    2013-11-23 13:41:01
  404. Thanksgiving: the time of year when judgemental dicks mock people who enjoy Black Friday; forgetting that their own hobbies are stupid too!
    2013-11-24 05:41:28
  405. For the record, I don’t do the black Friday thing, but you asshats that hike, skydive, camp, etc shouldn’t judge those who camp for deals.
    2013-11-24 05:43:38
  406. …And I just locked myself out of my house. It’s been a bit since I did that…
    2013-11-24 19:56:43
  407. If it is 25°F and you find yourself walking a mile down the road in shorts and flip-flops, folks WILL yell things at you. Mean things!
    2013-11-24 22:12:27
  408. That, however, makes it legit! RT @JRRParker @jer_ what if judging WAS my hobby? Hypothetically…
    2013-11-24 22:13:19
  409. RT @beerops: New web team rule: If you fuck up production, you have to take a selfie wearing the #yolo hat and put it on Instagram.
    2013-11-25 18:07:40
  410. RT @jimchines: You know that voice that whispers everyone else is smarter/more talented/funnier than you? Yeah, me too. That voice is a jer…
    2013-11-25 18:09:18
  411. What a great day…I just found out that there are post-2000 albums by @EverclearBand!!
    2013-11-25 19:27:01
  412. I find myself wishing about once per day that I could block the click-baiting Upworthy posts. Self-congratulatory tripe and annoying shit.
    2013-11-26 21:02:15
  413. RT @quityourjrob: How to tell if a toy is for boys or girls. http://t.co/4MTdubGZo1
    2013-11-29 12:16:05
  414. Next year, I’m going to Walmart on Black Friday for the fights…!
    2013-11-29 18:43:18
  415. Yoshi pouts when he’s not the focus of attention…Like me! http://t.co/rtJIIN2cDD
    2013-11-29 22:16:47
  416. Ugh. Save me from “Rape Culture” Culture…you know, where literally everything is homophobic, misogynistic, and patriarchal…*sigh*
    2013-11-30 20:07:17
  417. Hey gang, sometimes things are shitty without respect to gender, race, sexual orientation, etc. I know, hard to believe, but…
    2013-11-30 20:08:26
  418. RT @ConFigures: Long time coming but I fiiiiiiinally wrote up our Ninjas, Brogrammers, and Sparkly Code Princesses panel @Penguicon http:…
    2013-12-02 14:37:38
  419. I really enjoyed that panel. I think it’s an important conversation to have, and have often. Dev culture need not stay damaged!
    2013-12-02 14:39:49
  420. At least once per week this is parked across the street… I assume it’s a message for me… http://t.co/hWo0JUBF43
    2013-12-02 22:02:22
  421. Shirts have arrived for the @LightRecoil charity LAN a month or so ago! http://t.co/ItaGw0koGk
    2013-12-06 00:10:31
  422. It’s been a very mixed bag of a week. I’m very glad it’s almost over. I don’t think I can deal with much more of it.
    2013-12-06 10:34:51
  423. RT @richardadalton: If carpenters were hired like programmers:
    “Must have at least 5 years experience with the Dewalt 18V 165mm Circular Sa…
    2013-12-09 01:09:43
  424. The UX folks at work do absolutely ridiculously good wireframe/specification documents. Everyone should get these to work from!
    2013-12-11 14:10:58
  425. Suck it, Oxford comma haters… :) RT @zamosta: The best case ever for the Oxford comma: http://t.co/ofCtjINGIu
    2013-12-11 14:13:07
  426. “Just clone this other project”
    #FiveWordTechHorrors
    2013-12-11 18:30:26
  427. “It’s a waterfall/agile hybrid”
    #FiveWordTechHorrors
    2013-12-11 18:32:27
  428. RT @OakParkGirl: “Unit testing? That’s QA’s job!” #FiveWordTechHorrors #HeardThatLastWeek
    2013-12-11 18:50:13
  429. What is the etymology of the word Wenis as it relates to the skin on your elbow..? Hive mind, I must know!!
    2013-12-11 19:31:39
  430. Humans in the house that are sick: 100%…Puppies in the house that are sick: 0%…No sleeps to be had.
    2013-12-12 13:00:29
  431. I feel better than I did yesterday, but that’s a pretty low bar to set. Time to see how long I can manage this work thing…
    2013-12-13 12:23:14
  432. I love driving in the snow…We went down to Monroe and back this morning, and despite the occasionally slippery conditions, it was a blast.
    2013-12-14 21:01:15
  433. RT @eacarlson: Beyond grateful today that my Jeep gives zero fucks about snow.
    2013-12-14 21:01:50
  434. Jeep owners: does anybody use quick-release roll-bar mounts for equipment? What ones do you like?
    2013-12-16 15:43:11
  435. Insomnia got the better of me, so I took the quiz. According to Zimbio I am Haymitch Abernathy. Very little surprise on my part :)
    2013-12-18 10:52:03
  436. RT @alanstorm: Leaders aren’t always in charge.
    2013-12-18 11:22:04
  437. RT @neiltyson: Holiday derives from Holy Day. So it’s etymologically under-informed to assert that “Happy Holidays” does not reference God.
    2013-12-19 11:11:35
  438. This has always been my take on it MT @ferretthimself: “Living Feminist: A Defense of ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside'” http://t.co/Kd2dA9YE40
    2013-12-19 14:32:55
  439. QOTD: “…I already know what’s in the mac and cheese…’mac’ and ‘cheese’…” -@Kristina_Blott
    2013-12-20 00:12:27
  440. Quick, everyone in Michigan, run outside and drive like an asshole!
    2013-12-20 21:59:22
  441. Well done, people of Michigan! You really brought your A game! (A is for “asshole driver who has never seen wet roads before”)
    2013-12-20 22:02:40
  442. My office secret Santa have me the best gift ever…hooded towel http://t.co/xmuhiYNqc7
    2013-12-20 22:08:38
  443. Cards against humanity just sent the best CAH card ever! http://t.co/Mj5sLu1eAK
    2013-12-20 22:08:54
  444. Puppy sneak attacking unsuspecting nipple…Umm… Ow!?
    2013-12-21 12:15:54
  445. Woke up with an itch to make a mobile-friendly, database-driven character sheet for the Star Wars RPG. 2KLOC later I have a foundation.
    2013-12-22 06:42:00
  446. Fuck you Pennsylvania! http://t.co/NxwaSgwOaD
    2013-12-24 14:48:50
  447. RT @flashboy: Huge Dogecoin heist sees people lose real money in joke currency based on made-up dog dialect: http://t.co/Gpc1iqMNnZ FUTURE…
    2013-12-27 13:32:38
  448. I just mounted my new flood and spot lights on the Jeep. I’m debating trying to run the electrical now, or waiting until Sunday.
    2013-12-27 19:02:09
  449. The new Jeep lighting array…Now to run some electrical… http://t.co/mB2NAgp7yA
    2013-12-28 02:52:18
  450. Yoshi and I watch TV together sometimes… http://t.co/P65Q60dZoa
    2013-12-28 03:45:40
  451. This is what s rest stop looks like… http://t.co/WokOuT9Uct
    2013-12-28 18:22:31
  452. I am crying over here RT @HuffPostComedy This is what happens when you ask @pattonoswalt to tweet for popular brands http://t.co/T9pUr2wuiG
    2013-12-31 03:39:05

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